


Medusa

by Hyacinthium



Series: Rotary [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Tokyo Ghoul, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Gore, Cannibalism, Canon Typical Content, Character Death, Dissociation, Fluff and Humor, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Iruma Miu Being Iruma Miu, Kokichi's Self-Defense Humor, Love Across The Universe: Dangan Salmon Team, M/M, More Mindscrewery, No Smut, POV Oma Kokichi, Panic Attacks, Time Loop, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-13
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-06 07:41:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14637222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyacinthium/pseuds/Hyacinthium
Summary: Kokichi wakes up the next day feeling fine, really. He knows what he has to do and just needs to figure out how to do it. Unfortunate how much others like to intrude on his plans. Kokichi too, though, he's quite aware that all things end up wrapping back around to the start. This play-through included.





	1. Veins

**Author's Note:**

> Unintentional looping:  
> Most often, the term is used for those situations when this is not the intended result; that is, when this is a bug. Such errors are most common among novice programmers, but can be made by experienced programmers as well, because their causes can be quite subtle.
> 
> One common cause, for example, is that the programmer intends to iterate over a collection of items such as a linked list, executing the loop code once for each item. Improperly formed links can create a reference loop in the list, where one list element links to one that occurred earlier in the list. This joins part of the list into a circle, causing the program to loop forever.
> 
> While most infinite loops can be found by close inspection of the code, there is no general method to determine whether a given program will ever halt or will run forever; this is the undecidability of the halting problem.

Kokichi wakes up with heavy eyelids and an alarm blasting on high. Of course their local ursine overlords would have to wake him up just an hour after he finally gets to sleep. The damn thing just gets louder the longer he ignores it too.

God forbid that Ouma Kokichi be allowed some actual rest in this hellhole.

In lieu of words, he groans loudly at his television and groans again when it finally shuts off. Forcing himself up and past his boxes of weird shit, found all across the school, he smacks his horse head onto one of his coolers and amends the 'annoying' above the Monokubs into 'FUCKING annoying'. 

Going into the shower starts as a blur and ends in cursing as cold water rains down on him. It wakes him up though, followed by some relaxation when it finally turns lukewarm. God knows that it can't clean him more than the hours long one he had last night.

Kokichi ends up skipping the soap and just plopping himself on the shower floor. It's a bit lucky that they have neat western style showers. If only there was an actual bathtub and not just covering the drain with a cloth for the sake of a puddle. He'd like to maybe spend all day that way. Just let himself prune, laugh about how he covers the shower with a spare sheet, and check for hidden cameras for the upteenth time.

But staying in the shower too long is boring without interactive stuff, and Kokichi isn't some kind of fish person. Rest in peace, dreams of swimming off from the rest of humanity to live in the ocean. 

Kokichi grabs his tooth brush and starts smashing it against his teeth. There wouldn't be any dolphins in this escapist fantasy of his. They're assholes.

Spitting out reveals that Kokichi forgot about toothpaste, but that ought to be fine. He brushed a lot last night too.

He does make sure to grab one of all his clothing. Shirt, pants, scarf; they wiped down their shoes but Kokichi is worried that someone might smell the cleaner on them. Different pair there too. He does the customary bug check and shrugs them on nice and quick. 

Kokichi knows that he's probably going to be the last person at breakfast, but getting there puts him into a fugue that ensures he doesn't care too much.

It's not the first time that Kokichi was late and tired while walking down these halls.

Going off of statistics, Kokichi muses, it certainly won't be the last either.

The conversation in the cafeteria lulls slightly when Kokichi finally arrives, Shuichi coughing on miso soup, and Kirumi nodding at him before going to retrieve his breakfast from the kitchen. Kaito helpfully thumps Shuichi’s back and gives Kokichi an odd look.

The kitchen. Kokichi’s hair slowly soaks the back of his neck while he plops down next to Gonta. Kokichi hopes he doesn't get a complex about kitchens next. That would be a disaster if he ever wants to cook or get snacks. What will Kokichi do if he can't get his own panta?

Make Kirumi do it until she starts poisoning him? Wouldn't be too out of character.

“Ouma-kun? Ouma-kun!” someone says in the background. 

A large hand settles on Kokichi's shoulder and pats gently. He startles the first time, and Gonta immediately pulls away like he was burnt.

Before Kokichi is a few plates of food. The usual pancakes buried in syrup, chunks of fruit, eggs and bacon. How wonderful that Kokichi hadn't been able to notice in favor of nodding off.

"Wow, thanks Gonta! You made sure I stopped thinking in favor of eating!" Kokichi says. There are small signs of slurring the entire way through. Instant regret.

Gonta picks up on it, because clearly the big gentle loaf would, and fully stares down at Kokichi with concern. Now that basically everyone is doing the same, Kokichi can already feel himself starting to sink into his seat a bit. He had decided against bothering to cover up his paleness and eye bags with makeup. Kaito and Kaede usually dominate breakfast time with discussion.

So, usually speaking- it's safe to let himself take the backseat once in a while.

Now everyone and possibly their mother is looking at his stupidly tired face. Shuichi even has the gall to look guilty about it.

Kirumi speaks like no time had passed. "If you wish to return to your room with your breakfast, I would take no offence. You need not force yourself to stay awake."

"Naaah, I'm fine mom."

The Ultimate Maid blinks at him likes he’s the weirdest thing she’s ever seen this side of Monophanie’s short lived plotline-fueled crush on Hoshi. Or when Tsumugi made everyone watch Princess Tutu in the AV room. Of course, Kirumi is too proper to let her reaction be obvious to those she’s serving. Kokichi braces himself for distaste.

“In that case, be a responsible young man who knows how to take care of himself. Please return to bed.”

Kokichi can feel his eyebrows raise up to his hairline.

The Toujou Kirumi just joked with him. It might be worse than being called a most detestable cretin.

He decides to shove an orange slice into his mouth and give Kirumi an innocent citrus grin. His appetite is weak right now.

Miu interrupts with a cackle,”I bet Smoldick spent hours jacking it and that’s why he looks dead!”

He’s going to eat anyway. Not eating is how people die.

“Are you sure that you’re alright?” Kaede asks him from her position next to Shuichi. The not so normal boy fiddles with his chopsticks. Kokichi can't help but wonder what the pianist would do if she knew her cute weddle besty is a ghoul.

Maybe she’d u- no stop that thought.

Kaito snorts, “He probably stayed up all night planning how to prank us next.”

Kokichi spends the next few minutes deflecting suggestive comments from Miu and assuring the others that he’s fine. He does break out the waterworks a few times for the sake of annoying Kaito. It does wonders for convincing everyone that Kokichi is more or less normal.

The food on his plates disappears at the same rate his hair dries, slowly and with great frustration.

After a while, Kokichi gives in and starts a conversation with Shuichi. They talk about what books Kokichi read at the library yesterday, and it’s the stiffest conversation that Kokichi has had since he woke up in this round’s locker.

Kokichi leaves second after Rantaro, and feels sick knowing that he didn’t fool Shuichi at all.

Going back to his room is easy though. Pushing the door open and trudging over to the bed takes a meandering walk back, but Kokichi flops down and curls up around his pillow contently.

Kokichi knows that he should and could do any manner of investigating now. There’s just no excuse not to. 

But Kokichi is tired and full. Just a little more sleep.

Laying the ghosts to rest can wait.

Instead, he shifts through dreams and memories at the speed of falling honey. Kokichi’s brain and body are far too tired to actually give him nightmares, which he’s thankful for. The alternative is a surrealism aimed at making him wake up with his guts twisting.

The cute bunny clock tells Kokichi that he managed to sleep until noon. He’s never been so happy to have won the silly little thing. What a good clock. Kokichi has always loved rabbits.

A certain British comedy movie comes to mind.

Perhaps, Kokichi considers, he should try to use his all powerful leadership powers to teach Himiko’s bunnies to sta-

Then he dashes to his toilet for the sake of heaving into it, heavy spit dripping into the water, and eventually he manages to expel all the food Kirumi had made for him. 

The bathroom tiles really do feel just dandy. Just like the kitchen!

Kokichi had been digesting for a while, so maybe it’s fine. He can request a really small lunch of things that his dreams won’t make him get rid of later. Yeah.

Stress is a horrible and insidious killer. 

Someone knocks at Kokichi’s bedroom door. Well. That’s just too damn bad for them. Kokichi has zero intent to get up off of the floor when he could start heaving again at any moment. The knocking continues for a few minutes, louder and louder.

“Fiiine! I’M COMING JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE JEEEEZ!” Kokichi yells at the top of his lungs.

Focusing on standing steady, he walks with a deliberate one two stride, and greets his door with a scowl.

Yanking it open reveals a smiling Tsumugi wielding a date ticket. Not wanting to see her, he almost slams it shut on reflex. There’s no way he’s going to let her drag him around and spew anime references into the air. Kokichi just isn’t in the mood.

The lips on his face smile anyway.

“Heeee~y Smoogi, did you come all the way here just to ask me out?! How sweet of you!”

She smiles even more. There’s a genuine kind of excitement in her eyes, the kind that started showing up have Kokichi returned a few too many of her more obscure references. He wouldn’t mind if it weren’t for getting pinned as an encouraging influence, causing a ton of sighs during the one anime marathon.

Tsumugi opens her mouth, “Ouma-kun, come watch some anime with me?” 

For such an apparently plain girl, Tsumugi sure is desperate for company. Could have been worse though. It could have been Maki showing up at Kokichi’s doorstep with a date ticket.

Last time that happened had resulted in Kokichi pissing the taller girl off so badly that she looked ready to strangle him. In hindsight, it was Kokichi’s stupid confrontational poking thing going into play. And also he might have a very strangleable neck.

Was it the scarf?

“Look Shirogane, I’m not in the mood to play around! I’ve got important plans to make and just can’t go on friend-dates today.” Kokichi lets his voice fill up with faux sorrow. It’s not a lie though. 

Tsumugi and her little ‘hmm’ don’t know it- but Kokichi still has to plan out how to market Shuichi to their audience.

Too much of last night was spent picking himself apart and figuring out how to reconfigure.

The local otaku girl taps her foot and stares at the ticket in her hand.

“I’m not going to force you, to put it plainly, but I think that you ought to relax a bit. Ouma-kun woke up feeling stressed right?” she says, calm and factual. 

Kokichi wants to growl at her and maybe scare her away. Instead he makes himself think and consider what exactly this means. How it would look to a viewer for him to reject everyone. Kokichi locks himself away and gets sick after ‘barely escaping a monster’ the night before. He refuses to spend time with the people he used to so gladly play around with.

Poor Ouma Kokichi, what a horrible thing that ghoul is!

Someone like Tsumugi will never do anything other than use that, not usually. It’s a shame.

“Sure! I guess watching something will make me be ‘less stressed’.” Kokichi chirps.

The short trip to the AV room fills Kokichi with flashes of nostalgia. Shuichi took him there to watch some movies a few times. Maybe he can convince Tsumugi to watch a bug documentary instead of anime.

But when he gets inside the little mini theater there’s already a platter of snacks, dried squid chips-soda-fruit, and even the wasabi peanuts he likes to munch on. Popcorn too.

A chair has a few dvds laying on it. 

Tsumugi beelines straight towards it with a bounce in her step. 

“So I’ve got Time of Eve, Mermaid Melody, the bartending anime, oh wow Ar Tonelico, Kiss Him not Me, Chi’s Sweet Home, Sugar Sugar Rune, Nozaki-kun, Yostura-san, why is Higurashi here, DMMD-” 

“Stop blabbering and put in magical girl singing show.” 

Tsumugi squeaks and moves to comply. Half way through she realizes that she has two DVDs still in her hands.

“Do you want the mermaid princess singing or the actually scifi singing?” she asks him.

Kokichi rolls his eyes. Everyone knows that the Ar Tonelico OVA was shit.

“Put in the innuendo infested jrpg’s adaptation.”

Two episodes and much snackage later; Kokichi finds out that he’s in a timeline where the OVA is actually a 12 episode anime that is decent. Apparently, the existence of ghouls makes everything better.

“Please remind me what the third game is like,” Kokichi shoves another fist full of beef jerky into his mouth. “Pretend that I’ve totally forgotten.”

Tsumugi gives him a weird look but obliges.

Best timeline.

They spend the rest of the marathon alternating between silence during the singing and talking during five minute intermissions. Kokichi makes sure to get information about changes. Subtly of course. He doesn’t exactly want Tsumugi, of all the people, to realize that there is absolutely something up with him.

The marathon ends with the full version of the anime original opening playing at full blast. Kokichi’s ears are in pain and love him for it. 

That’s great, because he loves them too for allowing him the pleasure of hearing.

The credits end with a message in the customary hymmnos conlang, and Kokichi wishes he could look up the exact meaning on his phone.

Kokichi has too little phone and too much Monopad.

Tsumugi stretches next to him while babbling about how much she loves Mir. An unopened can of Golden Grape panta is dislodged from the snack pile between them. It hits the floor hard enough to dent. Another can, Blue Ram, follows it after Tsumugi knocks it over by jumping at the sound.

“Oh geez! I’m so sorry,” she frets and grabs at some wet wipes.

A high pressure grape fizz escapes half crushed can near Kokichi’s feet. 

A smile.

“No problems here on my part ‘Mugi. You like best girl too, in the end. Maybe you should cosplay as her someday.” Kokichi says. But his mind is elsewhere.

It wasn’t like he had agreed to this playdate because of being lax. Exhausting yourself with all work and no play leads to burnout. You have to balance yourself out. 

Telling Tsumugi that would have gotten Kokichi some kind of understanding, he’s certain. The Ultimate Cosplayer also balances play with business.

She’s probably still the ringleader, after all.

There’s zero question why she ‘worried enough to drag me out of my room’.

But Kokichi can remember the expression of a Shirogane Tsumugi who spent days in this room with him, bingeing bad anime and bitching about manga, unprepared and lonely.

That’s the issue right now, Kokichi thinks to himself. You have to accept these things to move forward, but they want to hold you back and trip you up.

His hand finds its way to the half crushed can of soda. Fingers press into the dents and ruined contours. 

Colorful and happy designs stare back at him.

Tsumugi stands listless to his side.

Kokichi smiles wider. “I’m going to go head off now. Thanks for the great friend date, I feel less lonely now that I’ve been able to watch some children’s card games!” he laughs freely at the way the blue haired girl baulks. 

“If you wanted to watch cards on motorcycles then I would have tried to find it!” Tsumugi replies.

Laugh for her. “But Muuugi- you know I hate childish things!”

“You use Kitten Writing. And you were looking at Chi’s Sweet home the whole time too! Do you want to watch that next?” she questions with her head cocked to the side.

“Yes. I agree, next time we watch K-Project.”

A faintly worried gaze finds its way to the can being strangled in his fist.

His not-really comrade in memes frowns. Kokichi acknowledges the bad feeling stirring in his guts, though he’s sure more than half of it is his fault. He knows exactly what he has to do to advance the game.

“So… Where will you be going now? Ouma-kun?”

He dances around her questions and leaves with a parting shot that she never understands.

“Oh, just to the hanger!”

The soda runs down his hand and drips to the floor the whole time.

It’s fine. Really.

Kokichi just has some rotting memories to confront.

He leaves and leaves and leaves until the oh-so-similar layout swims around inside of his head, differences small and large overlapping- until he’s only sure that he’s going into the hanger when he reaches it.

The layout of the school might not always be the same, but the hanger never really changes.

It still sends shivers down his spine. Kokichi brings the panta can to his lips and sucks some of the carbonation out of a thin rupture. The small metal edges fight against him and threaten to bleed him, but Kokichi just forces more of the soda out with strong sips.

Kokichi’s chest hurts. Actually, his entire body is starting to tingle and throb in discomfort. Everything about this room and all of his dream-memories make his brain scream out to run far away. 

To hide like a small child in his bed.

He wants to be undying, again, to know he can wake up and never have to worry and that Miu will sob and regret it and he didn’t have to do a single thing to fix anything, but let her kill him-

Kokichi misses a lot of better versions of life. He can remember a handful of lives that have little to do with anything like a killing game. They’re little wisps and he hopes to Angie’s God that they’re real and not fantasy.

His legs move in the direction of cold metal slabs.

He thinks of flowers growing out of his hair, and the same flowers blooming from a tree, using them to scare an unsuspecting Kaito, and a white haired boy asking him to fill an entire classroom with them for good luck on the exams.

Wearing a black uniform and going to cram school so that his single mother won’t worry. Coming home and studying some more. Signing up for Dangan Ronpa and never letting her know even when she starts dating again. The despair in both her and her new SO’s eyes when he comes home and finds an envelope from Team DR on the kitchen table. His eldest step sibling burning all of her Monokuma merchandise.

His mother being a tattoo artist that wears the most adorable frilly dresses and teaches him to enjoy life.

Miu and Kiibo wave from near some machinery to get his attention.

The most common backstory that he wakes up thinking is his life: Growing up in a orphanage and running away to find his own kind of family. Just being on the streets from the start is second. Once or twice it’s being sent into an orphanage and saving a little red eyed girl, growing up more always trying to make her wear checkerboard hair clips, until they wake up in lockers in a run down school. Remembers how hilarious it was to see Maki start crushing on someone. Putting surveillance in Kaito’s room because that’s just what you do for...

Kokichi again recalls the joke that made Maki glare death at him. He must have forgotten himself in hindsight. Which himself.

One time he woke up as the mastermind under threat of ten deaths. Kokichi’s motive video is much less painful after that. He spent all he could trying to sabotage himself without being found out, but murders still happened no matter what tricks he pulled. 

Dying and being held by everyone who’d be watching him all alone as nothing more than a ghost lingering as digital static.

Dying. Dying. The hydraulic press. Dying. Joining to end Dangan Ronpa. Joining to die. 

It’s up in the air right now. Heavy chunks of iron shaped into perfectly formed rectangles made to squash anything put in between them.

“Aw for fucks sake you stupid shrimp dicked twink, I said hello!” Miu’s voice catches up to him. Kiibo’s thumping footsteps follow up just as quickly. 

Turning his head reveals her to be as falsely brave as ever. Messy blonde hair and nonsensical bondage gear sets her up as an eccentric bombshell, and Iruma Miu makes it work. Mostly. Except for when she’s cowering at the first sign of discontent.

“Hey slut-friend! What are you and Keeber up to in a place like this?” Kokichi doesn’t bother hiding the ruined can from their gazes. Let them and the audience wonder.

Miu sneers at Kokichi and he remembers her fretting over his head wound in another life.

Kiibo walks closer to the hydraulic press behind Kokichi with eyes intent. 

“Ouma-kun, were you going to use that panta as a test dummy for the press?” the robot asks, to which Kokichi merely grins at him.

“So your little camera eyes aren’t potato tier after all? Hey hey- Kiiboi, can you upload stuff as videos? I wanna see the pathetic shit that Irumummy does while she fixes you!”

Miu’s eyes go wide, “Iru… Mummy?!” 

Her face goes from normal to pomegranate colored in ten seconds flat.

“Yep. Since that one bear can’t stop trying to suck milk from your fat udders, and all.” Kokichi just can’t help but take and provide the bait. 

And Miu is much the same.

“You’re just fucking jealous that I’m thicc and fertile, you scrawny fuckboy. I bet that micro-cock dick is so anti-potent that your balls are shriveled into raisins!” her grin is truly vicious to the point that Kiibo looks frightened.

“You two… I know you’ve both said this to be friendly banter but ple-”

“The only fertility in that body of yours is the rampaging thirst you have zero self control over,” Kokichi caws. “I bet you’re actually an overcompensating virgin that masturbates for hours, but isn’t sure she’s ever had a real orgasm!”

Miu tries to stay strong in the face of her smug opposition. Keyword is tries.

She rubs her legs together and shrieks as they give out on her.

That feels better. Winning a harmless match of insults almost always makes Kokichi feel less like a blob of shit.

Kiibo hides his flustered face under both hands. Much better, the worst of the tension leaving his body in a faux exasperated sigh.

Kokichi can get back to thinking clearly again.

He turns back to the press and considers the can in his hand. Does he really want to put it under there and watch it get pulverized nice and slowly? Or maybe the press would actually be fast for once. Kokichi’s forehead feels the ghost of pressure.

Kiibo sighs behind him in tune to shuffling from helping Miu stand up again. 

The two of them unanimously join Kokichi in staring at the huge contraption. There’s silence again, which is fine, but Kokichi can near feel the way that Miu is itching to say literally anything.

“I want to crush the can under the press.”

Miu huffs. “Kay, but why tho? You got some fetish or something?”

“Yes. I absolutely have a pressing fetish. I have a pair of huge boots just for crushing things under my evil heels.” 

“Please refrain,” Kiibo mutters. Poor bot.

“If you had a rocket punch capable arm then I’d listen to you.” Kokichi knows it’s not that easy though. Remembers, even. Remembers like he does most things.

Miu snickers about rocket assisted masturbation.

“So, you two gonna help me out with self fulfillment or not?” 

He raises his fist and shakes the still leaking soda can in the air. His upper lip feels sore.

Good. 

Miu smacks her palms together in a gesture that’s half clap and half implicit parody of Kaito.

“Alrighty you bitch boys, let’s get Ouma’s shrunken rocks off!” the girl nearly jumps back, making Kiibo jolt out of the way, and skedaddles up to the press’s controls. 

Kiibo flip flops between wanting to go up with her and staying put to avoid the worst of Miu’s innuendos. Maybe, Kokichi ponders, maybe Miu would enjoy Ar Tonelico. The second game has the exact kind of scene she’d go crazy over.

Purple eyes stare at the press. 

If he wanted to, he could slide right under-inside it.

But there isn’t a point of that, so instead of giving into the dread crawling around his bones, Kokichi lets Kiibo watch as the ruined soda can gets gently placed on waiting steel. He’s been sloshing it around so much that there’s barely any liquid in the poor thing now.

A small puddle forms anyway.

He remembers how the flat slab of metal looked above him. Kokichi lets his arm linger for just a few more seconds and rips it back. Easy. So very easy.

No big booming sound of two surfaces flattening anything in between them. Only Kokichi has moved.

Can status: just hanging out.

Kokichi leans back with arms behind his head and grins at the silent robot next to him. He can only imagine the thoughts running through Kiibo’s head.

Through the audience. Because that’s what Dangan Ronpa just loves to do, preemptively betray everyone involved by turning one of them into an unwitting spy and pawn.

It’s been Kokichi a few times. Never ended well.

“Hey, you two fuckbois ready for this shit?!” Miu shouts down to them.

Kiibo gives Kokichi an unreadable look. His lips are pinched tight together, eyes not moving an inch from Kokichi’s own chipper expression. Kokichi almost wants to start asking if robots have dicks or something asinine like that. He knows by now that Kiibo just doesn’t get his humor, but he doesn’t want to be looked at that way, to be stared at like he’s-

Like Kokichi is doing something dangerous to himself. 

Like people are actually pitying him after anywhere from a year to a decade of trying over and over. To.

The hydraulic press starts up with an echoing thrum.

‘Why did I come here’, Kokichi thinks as he backs up far behind Kiibo. But he isn’t trembling. Kokichi stares wide eyed and still as the top chunk slowly lowers itself. It’s so loud. The room feels like it’s shaking or vibrating.

But from Kiibo’s arms trying to keep Kokichi from falling down, it’s Kokichi that’s shaking.

He isn’t scared.

The can makes a crumpled groaning sound as it’s crushed. Kokichi can’t see any splatter or wetness, but he can remember the sight of red-magenta internal fluids drooling outwards and horrifying the living. 

Splat. Squish.

Miu slowly comes down to them and there’s really just nothing to say. She looks so uncharacteristically concerned that a fun conversation about gross stuff just isn’t going to be on the table. So Kokichi opens his stupid mouth and says something anyway.

“Man was that just the highlight of my day!” he nearly shouts. He’s not even lying, there’s a buzz about him and the feeling of being freed. 

Down at her sides, Miu’s fists clench. She opens her mouth to say something that Kokichi really probably doesn’t want to hear.

At the same time, he slips out of Kiibo’s hesitant hold and gets ready to break past them. Back down the always twisting halls and to his overstuffed hoarder’s room.

Instead of anything to do with that, multiple sets of footsteps start filling the hanger, and three particular students break into the scene.

For Kaede, Kaito, and Shuichi; what they see is a pale Kokichi standing in front of the hydraulic press with Miu and Kiibo looking worried and scared.

For the three who had been in the hanger to start with; they see three sweaty and panting idiots that just ruined a probably important moment.

Miu snarls, “The fuck do you beta incel cucks want?! God...”

She snaps her agitated body around to fully face them. The longer the three stay crouched and panting for breath, the more Miu shakes in anger.

“This girl genius is fucking busy you interrupting shitass abortions!” 

Kokichi knows why she’s upset. He can imagine why other people came running. He decides to focus on the fact that Tsumugi has started up some shitty drama. Kiibo makes an ‘uhm’ noise behind him but Kokichi ignores it in favor of watching.

Kaito groans. “That’s not important right now Iruma!”

Kaede immediately backs him up with a sharp nod. Behind them, Shuichi looks back at the exisals momentarily, before turning back and placing a worried gaze on Kokichi’s face. Kokichi meets it in what he hopes is an even manner. He sees the detective ghoul’s nose twitch.

Kokichi stretches a grin around his face. Could Shuichi be smelling the squished soda?

“Ouma-kun, you don’t have to do this!” Kaede yells to him.

Miu shuts up. Kiibo shuts up. Kokichi is just confused. The three looks at each other as if to ask for some kind of explanation, but they’re all in the dark.

“Akamatsu-san,” Kiibo says, “What are you talking about? It is far too late to save the Panta.” The robot steps aside and gestures to the closed press with an open palm. Miu’s expression has regained its scowl, yanked from the jaws of vulnerability and confusion.

Kokichi has nothing to do with it and he’s still a bit proud.

“Wha- no the soda has nothing to do with this! We ran here because Ouma is going to do something dangerous,” Kaito says. Kaede nods and Shuichi looks uncomfortable. Kiibo makes machine noises in the background.

“Uhm. Guys?”

Tsumugi. Tsumugi, you bitch. You bitch you bitch you bitch what did you say to them you bitch you bitch-

“The fuck is wrong with you sluts?!” Miu screeches.  
“Iruma-san, please just calm down,” the other blonde in the room pleads. She’s no longer panting and has her hands clasped together. The perfect pose to beseech that someone restrain themselves.

Too bad it’s Iruma Miu and not literally anyone else.

While the three loudmouths plus a stammering Kiibo continue arguing, Kokichi inches over to Shuichi’s side. 

A few reasons exist. Kokichi just wants to, Kokichi knows that this is a prime television moment, Kokichi wants to know what the fuck is happening right now. Yeah, only reasons.

Shuichi fidgets across from him, so Kokichi stands next to him so that they can watch the clusterfucky frick frack together. 

“Hey… Kokichi?” Shuichi mutters without looking at him.

“If you wanna tell me something, Shumai, then you should probably start with an explanation. I was having a great time interrupting a date! But then you three ruined my ruining,” he pouts with cheeks puffed out. Shuichi glances away towards his still arguing companions. “So now I’m confused and annoyed. My beloved Shuichi should take responsibility for my wrecked emotions.”

The ghoul blanches at the last bit and Kokichi starts thinking of a way to backpedal. He’s good at backpedaling, what with nearly everything that has ever come out of his lying mouth being a mistake. And he slipped into first name basis.

“But that’s-”

“Shirogane-san was so worried about you that she started crying and said you might be planning to bomb the school,” Shuchi blurts out.

What? 

Miu roars in front of them. To the side of them, maybe. Kiibo is squawking like a disturbed seagull that had a fry stolen from it’s mouth.

“YOU FUCKS THRUST YOUR ANGRY MORAL HIGH GROUND WANGS IN HERE AND ACCUSE US OF PLANTING BOMBS?! GET OUT OF MY HANGER!” Miu spits and snarls so loudly that everyone jumps back from her shaking body.

Kokichi stands frozen and glazes over with half hearted nostalgia. He’s seen Miu like this before, but he’s never seen her like this before. Her twitching eyes are bright with rage and her hair flairs out behind her like a lion’s mane. The clenched teeth she has on full display just complete the picture.

Kokichi swoons a bit, but that’s not from Miu’s territorial animal impersonation. He’s been feeling woozy for a while.

“I can’t believe. Can’t believe, at all, that Shuichi actually thinks I’d be planning to blow us up after last night,” he says as calmly and dryly as possible. 

His chest hurts and his head feels funny. Kokichi balls up a fist and ignores a tiny twinge.

Looking back at Shuichi reveals a grimace. That’s either guilt or Kokichi using the wrong name, or something. Always something.

“Look Iruma-san, all we knew was that Shirogane-san came in near tears and started freaking out about how Ouma-kunwas going to the hanger with some scary look on his face,” Kaede tries to again placate the inventor to no avail.

Man, Kiibo is starting to look pissed about being ignored.

Kaito nods and starts explaining what Tsumugi told everyone. Blah blah, Kokichi has been so tired lately, blah blah huge bitch, oh man purposefully irrational rhetoric used to manipulate everyone; to sum it up the cosplayer got everyone in a tissy because ‘she was concerned’. As if Kokichi would be able to make a homemade bomb out of a ruined soda can. All by using actual points to trick others into also getting worried.

Kokichi starts feeling queasy. He abruptly realizes that his vision is growing odd, and that he’s nodding off a bit. Oh great, is he getting sick? There’s no way he can risk being ill right now. He needs to save Shuichi.

“O-ouma-kun?”

That’s right. Kokichi needs to save everyone. Why is he standing when he has work to do, has to solve…

Bright and blinding high beams sear everyone’s eyes, except for Iruma who is instead lit up from the back, and they blink thrice before leaving everyone to vigorously rub their assaulted optical organs.

“I have been trying! For a long time now, to say something direly important!” Kiibo even sounds pissed. But Kokichi really needs to go investigate Gonta’s body now-

“Ouma-kun’s hand has been cut and bleeding since around the time you three arrived here. Regardless of any misunderstandings, please let us start addressing that!”

What? 

Kokichi looks at his right hand. Nothing.

Kaede rushes over to him and grabs his left hand, pulling it up from his side, gasping when she sees the long bloody cut on his palm. Shuichi hisses to his side and starts rifling through his pockets.

“The can…” he can’t keep the useless thought inside of his brain.

No wonder you feel like shit, Kokichi thinks. You’ve been bleeding this whole time you stupid little fuck.

And of course it would have cut him up with the way he was strangling it.

Someone lowers him onto the floor, always the floor, and Miu wails into his ears because of course she would. Kokichi has been making the acquaintance of quite a few floors lately.

Some kind of stingy liquid floods pours down on the cut and makes Kokichi whimper deep in his throat.

“I think I might be a glutton for punishment,” Kokichi murmurs to her.

“You fuckin’ are you shitheel, fuckin real talk you- you just made yourself freak out so badly and you didn’t say anything to me-” 

Kaito narrows his eyes at them while Shuichi finishes cleaning and wrapping Kokichi’s wound. Turns out that Kaede’s backpack has an emergency first aid kit in it, but Kaito had already torn up his sleeves. Rest in pieces.

“What are you talking about?” Kaito demands. It makes Miu go eek and hide her worried little face in Kokichi’s hair. Gross.

Kiibo continues frowning and answers instead. “Ouma-kun came here to use the hydraulic press in order to crush a can of panta.”

“Yeah?”

“Iruma-san went to the controls and obliged him while I stayed behind, and when the task was completed we both found that Ouma-kun was badly off instead of actually pleased.”

Kokichi rolls his eyes and groans as loud as possible, happy that the sound echos off the walls and straight back.

“I was fine!” but all saying that does is make Kiibo glare at him.

“You were trembling and did not even notice that you had been harmed.”

“I was not trembling, I was excited because I love Hydraulic Press-kun,” Kokichi blurts out and quickly loves it. He almost forgot that he could lie.

“Th- what?” Kiibo’s eyes blow up to dinner plate proportions. Maybe he should have Miu maintenance him back into shape.

“I said that Panta-chan was in love with Hydraulic Press-kun and I wanted to support them,” Kokichi says in complete contradiction to what he actually said just moments ago. “Unfortunately, it seems that my attempt merely led to the death of Panta-chan and also the delicate heart of Hydraulic Press-kun.”

Kiibo sputters and scowls as if a seal just called him gay. What a mood.

“You did. I’m. No?!” the robot throws his hands up and aggressively sighs.

Kokichi feels his lips tug into a smile.

“I missed this.”

Four familiar people blink at him, before unanimously deciding to write it off as confusion from blood loss.

Shuichi pulls him up and they hobble off in search of food for Kokichi to eat.

“Healthy food to replenish your blood cells, you sugar addicted bitch,” Miu reminds him. Her blotchy face is less majestic than it had been minutes ago, but Kokichi grins at her all the same.

Kokichi laughs, that classic ‘nishishishi’ dancing out from his guts, and mutating into something a bit too hysterical to be fake. Kaito slows down at some point.

“Uh, hey man.”

“Hi spess freak!”

Kaito gives Kokichi a dirty look.

“Look. I just want to apologize for barging in. You’ve just been… You’ve been trying to hide it but these past few days you’ve been pretty obviously rundown, I guess?” the astronaut scratches the back of his head.

Kokichi gapes at him.

“So when you came in looking like a zombie earlier,” Kaito continues looking right ahead, ”The idea of you being- I dunno it just made what Shirogane-san was crying about seem really dire. But not because we think that you’re a bad person.”

Kokichi feels like flinching when Kaito finally looks back down at him with a large smile. Instead, he just stays blank faced and leaning on Shuichi's shoulder as support.

“Cuz’ we’re friends, even when you act like a brat!” he finishes his speech with a fist pump.

Something, some-other-him, inside of Kokichi is laughing and crying. 

Kokichi speaks up instead of any of that shit, “Then tomorrow I’ll grab a ticket and we can watch Sailor Moon together. Since you love space and planets so much!”

If the girls start giggling when Kaito blue screens hard enough to stop walking with them, and Shuichi chuckles under his breath while Kiibo makes confused bot sounds, well.

Well, maybe then it’s fine that Kokichi starts laughing too.


	2. Arteries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi approaches the half point, and tries to cover himself up with implied metaphors.

There's a bowl of leafy avocado covered greens, nuts, and dried fruit in front of Kokichi's face. To the side is freshly made mackerel and a glass of lemon water. There had been a kiwi too, right up until Kokichi decided to take a huge bite out of the strangely hairless mutant fruit. 

It has a delicious aftertaste and now Kokichi is full from it plus previous snackage.

Three pairs of eyes are staring at Kokichi as if to tell him ‘no you cannot leave until you eat it all’. Thankfully, super responsible mom Kirumi is still in the kitchen making food for later. Kokichi would probably have even more people trying to non-verbally guilt him into eating otherwise.

Even better is that Kaede took Miu to go get freshened up after all the crying the inventor did. Miu would have started shoving the salad in his face right about now.

Kokichi chugs some of his water and stabs dark green lettuce. Cranberries and walnuts get carried up to his teeth and then he swallows as soon as possible.

“Ouma-kun, please chew for at least 25 seconds,” Kiibo reminds him.

Glowering would take too much effort at the moment, so Kokichi just rolls his eyes. What a good, kind, bot. Bleeech. Kiibo should go blow up the school instead of playing parent. The tin can is probably just doing some stupid programing. Just like the bears with their 'waah waaaah we kidnapped you… but also you signed a legal contract you can't remember!'. Kokichi opens his mouth.

Wait, no that would be a horrible insensitive mess to say, nevermind-

He makes a show of eating a fat slice of avocado. The creamy weirdness doesn’t agree with him and Kokichi immediately stabs a bunch of fruit and nuts to hide the taste. Kaito looks away from him momentarily.

Kirumi comes out with small snacks for everyone and places a banana next to Kokichi’s plate. 

Kokichi narrows his eyes at the offending meal in front of him. They have to know from Tsumugi’s account that Kokichi ate a bunch of junk food earlier. So where the heck did they get off trying to make him stuff himself?

Everyone else starts digging in except for Kiibo, who takes Kirumi’s offered crossword puzzle with a smile.

He puts his fork down, “I have an important confession to make. I totes pigged out on snacks with Mugi and now I’m full again.” 

The look that Kaito and Shuichi share with one another makes Kokichi frown. Then he internally frowns at his frown, and forces a smile back onto his face.

No point in that.

“Yeah. But Shirogane said that you’d gotten sick after breakfast, and junk isn’t that filling,” Kaito says. Kokichi blinks at him.

“I never told Smoogi anything like that.”

Shuichi hums, “Well, that’s just what she told us... and you don’t seem to be denying it?”

Kokichi wants to say ‘damn your astuteness’, but instead he laughs to make things less serious.

“Don’t you think that she could be lying? If my dear Shumai is worried then he should just tell me. Not that he’d hear anything bad, since I’m fine. Saihara-chan doesn’t have to worry,” he says with half closed eyes.

“But by my calculations you are having a harder time eating than the average full person would. The bite of avocado you had caused an adverse reaction that it never has before,” Kiibo butts into the conversation with cold facts. “You’ve also avoided the warm meat dish despite having readily eaten meat before.”

Kokichi glares at him from under his bangs. He’d been preparing an excuse for that last thing, but now Shuichi is subtly cringing away. Fuck.

“I think it’s more interesting that Smoogi ‘knew’ I had thrown up,” Kokichi points out the inconsistency while attacking his fish with constant stabbings. Kirumi’s hand gently grasps the rim of the plate and takes it away.

“I was not present at the time, but it is to my understanding that you told her during your outing,” she tells him.

Well that just settles things. Shirogane Tsumugi is the mastermind and she’s trying to gaslight Kokichi. Definitely, like she almost always is with all her lies. She’s actually-

Again, just like when he woke up after the nap, Kokichi’s stomach feels like it’s rebelling. It must show up on his face because Kirumi returns to take away the rest of his food. Kokichi grabs the banana and keeps it with him.

No one here believes his smile anymore.

“I just ate too much and have appetite loss from confinement. That’s all,” Kokichi asserts like he’s talking to DICE. “And since I have ssssuuuuuch a delicate stomach I decided that hot food like that fish was a no go! An evil leader type like me only eats cold foods, cold like his heart.”

Kaito glares at him like he’s having none of it. Shuichi looks slightly less uncomfortable. Kiibo appears to be having problems figuring out what to say. Good.

“But back to the important topic, why the hell would any of you believe that I’d tell Smoogi the truth like that?” he keeps his voice low and bored. He knows exactly why Shuichi would end up buying that Kokichi had puked up his food. Kaito isn’t much for impulse control, being an unrepentant idiot.

Kiibo didn’t have to deal with Tsumugi’s crap though.

“Shirogane-san and Ouma-kun are friends,” Shuichi says.

“Sure.”

A robotic eyebrow is raised, “Are the two of you not friends? Either way, I cannot think of a reason for Shirogane-san to lie.”

She lies because she’s a huge bitch. But Kokichi can’t say that either.

“I know I’m all ‘smol pale frail’ looking but-” Kokichi stops talking. Forget the lowkey angst of being five foot one as a young adult. If Shuichi could smell his blood back in the hanger, can Shuichi smell that Kokichi has in fact been sick? Even with Kokichi cleaning up?

The three other boys wait for him to finish speaking. Kokichi is a bit busy realizing that it’s going to be hard to actually lie to Shuichi about biological things. 

What if Shuichi can smell fear?

He needs to go somewhere else. Kokichi needs to be somewhere more fun and important. He slowly gets up. 

“I’m bored now.” 

“W-what? Ouma-kun stay seated please!” 

“Nope! I’m going to my super secret lab and you guys can’t come because you’re all meanies.”

"Oh come on man, we just had a heart to heart!"

No wait, stop it. Think about how it will look to the audience you simpleton. You can’t just leave like this without making Shuichi look bad. You’ve already made them look like fools for trusting Tsumugi. And you need to market him to all the humans and ghouls watching the show, you need to show what makes Shuichi sympathetic and desirable. Subtext isn’t enough for that either. 

Kaito starts lecturing like the nerdy mom-friend slash older brother that he secretly is. His words get discarded.

Not that Shumai actually needs help with those two things when it comes to you, the sly thought snakes through. The reminder makes Kokichi twitch. For a second a few more stray thoughts threaten to bubble up in the form of false spectors.

“Fine. If you guys wanna pretend that I’m, like, twelve or something go ahead. Maybe my contract will get nulled by sheer willpower alone. But!” Kokichi turns around with a grin from ear to ear.

“I’ll only accept being nanny’d by my beloved Saihara-chan!”

Shuichi sputters behind him but, after some rushed mutters, quickly catches up with Kokichi. The tension as they make their way down to the basement is almost palatable. Shuichi keeps making little ‘uhm’ noises but never truly speaks up. The basement grows closer and closer, with it the majestic sight that is the secret entrance to Kokichi's lab. 

The interior is even better and Kokichi will weather any silence just to see it. A floating throne fills him with joy each time the door opens so that his eyes can take it in. 

Kokichi considers telling Shuichi to close his eyes. He's not entirely… Kokichi isn't totally sure about this. He isn't going to show his lab to just anyone. He never shows his lab to just anyone. 

Shuichi absolutely doesn't ever show his face as a ghoul to anyone, and Kokichi took that from him. Team Danganronpa took that privacy from him.

The way it tried to put cameras in Kokichi's room for days until it gave up on being so obvious. 

Besides fulfilling the unspoken promise to never tell, a promise that Kokichi could break at any time, this is the only kind of worthwhile apology that Kokichi can give. Forcing himself to reciprocate an unwanted but acceptable development with its counterpart. Kokichi likes to think that he's come a long way from himself. 

For instance, he knows that he lies to himself now. 

Often. 

The door to his lab isn't even done opening before Kokichi is pushing Shuichi inside. A human can apparently push an unsuspecting half-ghoul with ease, which is great to know. An immobile object version of Shuichi would suck. 

Boy- if the blue tone room doesn't lighten Kokichi's heart with glee though. He gazes at the car with the same feeling of awe each time. And the throne! The floating throne, the computer station, all of everything. 

Can't forget the disguises. Glasses with fake noses are such classics. 

Shuichi gets shoved straight into Kokichi's comfort zone and looks around like a lost puppy. Black-blue hair tosses along with his head. 

“Ouma-kun this is… your lab?” the detective murmurs, eyes flitting every which way. 

Kokichi laughs, “Yep!”

"This is..."

"Awesome? Amazingly high tech? Totally darn tootin neato?" 

"This is like a-" Shuichi turns around to face Kokichi again. His mouth is open and twitched downwards in disbelief. 

"Super duper scary neon punk lair of evil?!"

Kokichi stares breathless from his impromptu yelling. Shuichi stares back at him as if his life was revealed to have no meaning. Jaw fully dropped, but there's little to no real tenseness, beyond excited nerves. 

"Ouma-kun, this lab looks like what a child playing super spy would have," Shuichi carefully says. 

Kokichi feigns going limp and smirks at Shuichi's response of a long uuuh. He fakes a sniffle and then whips himself back up with a grin. 

“So Shuichi likes Spy Kids roleplay?” he asks innocently. Yup, so totally innocent. Kokichi isn't even lying! 

Shuichi shifts on the balls of his feet.

The ghoul, just half as Kokichi reminds himself, pauses before finally shutting his gaping mouth, “I have no idea what that is.”

“Well, l-oh-l I guess, but yeah!” Kokichi struggles to find what he should say next. “This is my secret lab that no one else has seen before. We're even now.”

Shuichi looks… touched. That's good, even if it makes Kokichi's chest hurt. 

Kokichi starts walking over to the storage units and gets to sifting through them until he finds the snack drawers. Normal tea things are quickly expelled onto the counter, taking place next to miscellaneous gadgets. He roots around in the unseen back and hopes that this isn't just his memories fucking around. But yes, he finds a small cloth pouch containing what feels like cubes, and the normal sugar cubes are topside in a clear jar. 

Kokichi exhales slowly. 

He reaches around and feels for small grooves, clicking them and pulling out a foldable table for two. Kokichi does not look at Shuichi. 

“Sh- Shumai, go get some chairs from the evil surveillance station,” he orders the only other person in his lab. 

Footsteps hesitate before complying. 

Soon the room is filled with the sounds of tea brewing and coffee being made. The two of them are eventually seated and Kokichi blabbers while Shuichi stares down at the little bag of brown sugar cubes. The ghoul has no idea just how calculated Kokichi is being. Has no idea why Kokichi is going to trample on his own gut instincts.

Kokichi gets up to pour his tea and Shuichi's coffee. 

It's only when Kokichi is finished and stirring in his own white sugar cubes, just two, that Shuichi breaks his silence. 

“Why does Ouma-kun have those in his lab?” 

Kokichi blinks nice and slow, his face made up to be the perfect picture of resolute and reasonable innocence. He frown smiles, “I'm not sure what you mean, Saihara-chan. “

Shuichi grips his mug full of untouched coffee. 

Kokichi forces himself to think that Shuichi is being like an ungrateful child. None of them are children of any sort, Shirogane's Danganronpa intentions aside, but it's the thought that counts.

“Do you mean the gag glasses? The mustaches? Or the umbrellas or the gas masks, or?” Talk to him like an adult talking to a naive kid, Kokichi reminds himself. It'll all lead up to something better. Get him pent up and let the sick freaks watching know that Shuichi isn’t a monster-

“The sugarcubes!” Shuichi hisses. “The brown ones, why are they here? You obviously know what they are. Why would you even have them after-”

Shuichi cuts himself off. 

Kokichi smiles. 

“I'm not sure what conclusions you got from last night, but Saihara-chan had to have noticed those masks by now.” A hand stretches out towards boxes in the front. 

“So what does Saihara-chan think now?” Kokichi finishes with a question and an action, delicately untying the ignored pouch. 

His pale fingers, thumb and pointer, clamp down around a red-brown cube of iron scented sugar. It rises up in the air and Kokichi smoothly brings it to hover above Shuichi's cup of coffee. The steaming rich liquid sloshes within slightly shaking porcelain. Shuichi's breath hitches. 

“Ouma-kun…”

Kokichi frowns at him in confusion, but bites his tongue and lets Shuichi talk at his own pace. His hand wavers.

“Ouma-kun said that he had cohabitated with ghouls before but,” Shuichi sets down his tea cup full of black coffee. “I had thought with the way you said it…”

The frown gets deeper, and particles of rust-sugar fall to the table. Kokichi can’t say that that’s irrelevant to the topic, but what had Shuichi gathered from last night? Kokichi tries to remember exactly what it is that he had said back then, all of it, from the stupidly instigative ‘kill me already’ to the break down that had almost nothing to do with what triggered it.

He wheezes and Shuichi cringes his grip on the cup tighter at the sound of it.

“Did Shumai think I was some kind of ghoul-kidnapping victim? That someone stole me away in the night to raise as food slash toy?” Kokichi murmurs. His heart is aching and his head is swimming. That has never happened- that wasn’t what he’s been talking about at all.

Shumai must be thinking that, had thought that, Kokichi was-is weak. Crawling back and weak weak weak.

“Saihara Shuichi.”

The boy in question snaps to attention and holds his coffee like a lifeline. Like he has anything to be afraid of, as if the face he sees when he gets pulled back into orbit is looking at him like he’s scum.

But that’s not the expression that he finds there.

Kokichi is looking at him with a gentle expression, fingertips lowering to meet the still hot surface of Shuichi’s coffee, and releasing half wet sugar-iron to the depths. 

“I do not hate you,” Kokichi says while maintaining their eye contact. It’s almost the whole truth, and saying it makes more than a dozen half baked words force their way to clog in his throat. “I took you here because I wanted to show you that instead of just telling you.”

“And you don’t hate ghouls either?” the detective, the half human half ghoul, Shuichi asks him.

“Nope! How could a great leader like me possibly hate two of his subordinates? That’d make me horrible!” Kokichi laughs at Shuichi’s dropped jaw. That’s the reaction he’d been wanting from the start, too. The relief. Of course, that gasp as people stare at their TV as well. 

“So that’s why I brought my beloved Shumai to see my secret too.” Kokichi plops back down into his rolly chair and flings a regular sugar cube into Shuichi’s coffee for good measure.

“You-” Shuichi watches him while still processing the past half an hour. Maybe an hour, Kokichi isn’t that great at time awareness.

“You have a childish faux evil gang that has ghouls in it.”

Kokichi grins and sips his tea.

“I’m the Ultimate Supreme Leader for a reason you know. The only real rules that DICE ever has is no killing, only petty crimes or under, and to help each other.” And to be a family no matter what. Somehow, that remains so consistent that Kokichi can never stop using them as a crutch. Even when he knows that they’re fake.

Shuichi watches on and Kokichi decides to use his own spoon to stir in the mixed sugar. He’s near praying that Shuichi understand just what Kokichi’s actions are trying to hit home to him, and to the audience. That maybe he’ll even read into it.

Shuichi blinks at each particularly loud clack, but picks up the coffee once Kokichi is finished. His face has morphed into an expression of wonder.

The detective brings the bone white rim to his mouth a takes a long gulp.

Kokichi feels his dozen little somethings jump and flutter around his guts and claw at his esophagus. It must feel like victory. Buzzing hands grab their own teacup, filled with actual tea, and bring it to Kokichi’s lips for him to blow on. It’s a nice spiced black tea with minimal sugar and no cream. He’d usually use a little honey but could only find some plastic packets of it, and like hell Kokichi would use that.

It goes down wonderfully hot.

He returns the cup to its saucer. Shuichi has lost some of the tension in his body, obviously more relaxed, but he’s still hesitant in his body language. Still...

“I suppose that your organization is actually smaller than 10,000 people?” Shuichi looks at Kokichi with that familiar burn of ‘needing to know’ returning to his eyes. The detective talent and intent mind in him must be kicking in, eager to bite Kokichi’s so carefully offered bait.

Kokichi investigates his nails.

“Well, dunno about less than 10,000. How in the world did Shumai come to such a conclusion?” he questions airily.

Shuichi subconsciously straightens his back and mulls over his thoughts. Gold-grey eyes blink around the room and settle back on Kokichi.

“You said that two of your subordinates are ghouls and you talked about them like they’re extremely close to you. Then you referred to DICE as a gang, which combined with the contents of your lab, leads me to believe that there are only 100 members of DICE,” the detective rattles off like an automated answering machine. 

But thankfully, Shuichi is not actually related to Kiibo.

“Although, Ouma-kun made a big deal about them being ghouls…” Shuichi says to himself.

“Sooooo?” Kokichi prods the other boy on.

“So!” Shuichi bounces up slightly, bright eyed and smiling, making Kokichi feel those fuzzies once more. “You have less than 100 members in your gang, probably less than 20 if being generous!”

Kokichi laughs at Shuichi’s idea of being generous. It’s not wrong though.

“Saihara-chan is so super smart! Wow, what a great detective.” Kokichi watches Shuichi stutter at the praise, taking another sip of his own still hot tea.

“I-it’s not like that, Ouma-kun.” Shuichi mimics him by taking another gulp of coffee.

“What is it like then?” Kokichi ponders. His chin rests in one hand while the other holds his teacup, pinky out.

Shuichi’s lips twist a bit.

“You just made it seem like a family, I guess,” he murmurs.

Kokichi sighs into his hand and closes his eyes. He doesn’t really want to go further with this, not exactly, but he has to commit here. It’s not so bad to let Shuichi know about how weak Kokichi is. Shuichi already knows, and could already kill him in an instant. 

“Shumai has officially figured me out. DICE is just a little prank family of ten people run by a purple gremlin,” he says.

Shuichi chuckles before trying to reign himself in. His smile has grown into something strong and grudgingly fond.

“It’s only because Ouma-kun wanted me to though,” Shuichi tells him, voice even and sure in its own breathy softness.

“Mhm. So, Saihara-chan, show me your tentacles!” the words leave his mouth before he can fully realize them. But they’re logical in the sense that neither of them can risk a lull in scene. God, in scene. 

Kokichi hates everything about Dangan Ronpa and yet thinking this way is the main thing propelling him forward with this plan. Well, not actually the main thing. Despite waking up with a fresh set of ghoulified memories in his scrambled grey matter, Kokichi wants to see Shuichi’s kagune. He wants to ask all about them and ghoul stuff too. The fact that asking about all that stuff can correlate with plan ‘Market Shuichi’ is just a nifty bonus. Nifty second phase.

Ghouls are just kind of cool.

Shuichi’s coffee splashes over onto the table and saucer underneath. His eyes are simultaneously wide at the top and narrowed at the bottom.

“What?! Why would you just ask something like that? Ouma-kun,” Shuichi starts turning a light pink. “And don’t call them tentacles either, they’re kagune which is totally different.”

“But what kind of kaggyne are they? You showed them to me last night and basically snuggled me up in them. I wanna know more about Saihara-chan!” Kokichi stands up and pouts at Shuichi.

“That isn’t how-”

“I’ll tell you a bunch more about my organization. I know that my beloved Saihara-chan has been curious.”

The ghoul cringes and rubs his bangs, “You won’t be frightened?”

Kokichi’s grin threatens to break his face apart, going from ear to ear.

“Last night I thought they were pretty, even though I also thought you were going to kill me,” he forces himself to confess. Doing so feels even better than confronting the hydraulic press and winning. Absolutely.

“Your ghoul eye is really cool looking too!” Kokichi continues with his voice pitched just a bit higher. 

God does he hope that there really is an audience watching even in his lab. Otherwise Kokichi is going to basically die from embarrassment. But also he sorta hopes that the audience is just a lie anyway. In fact, maybe all of this is a really long dream and none of them signed up to die or date right out of high school.

The Shuichi from right now goes red across from him.

Shuichi looks away from Kokichi’s expectant gaze and slowly rises from his chair. He looks so shy about it that Kokichi almost tries to remember if he’s made some kind of social slip up. But wracking his brain doesn’t reveal anything off about the request. The two DICE members who are ghouls in this world have never reacted so hesitantly. Although, truthful, they’d all been little kids at the time they met.

Kokichi blinks when he sees that Shuichi is unbuttoning his outer layers.

“Huh.”

The boy in front of him jolts.

“Y-yes?” Shuichi asks.

“You didn’t take your clothing off last time,” Kokichi points out the obvious with a raised eyebrow.

“Last time was different! I just don’t want my clothing to get messy in the middle of the day…” Shuichi resolutely returns to taking off his jacket and then hikes his shirt up in the back. The skin there, the small of his back where a rinkaku’s kakuhou resides, seems to shift before the actual kagune bubbles out and manifests.

Kokichi whistles and gawks with what must be a goofy look on his face. He wants to say something to make his nerves calm down, but instead he just watches a bright crimson Shuichi fold his jacket over the back of his chair. 

It’s the same exact thing from last night, relatively thin-wide and flat tendrils that remind Kokichi of ribbons. Grey on the hard top side and almost meaty looking with thrumming gold lines on the bottom.

Those six things were around you last night, Kokichi tells himself. They probably won’t be killing someone anytime soon either. But Shuichi could totally do it.

Kokichi leaves his chair and steps around the table to reach Shuichi's side. 

He can feel just how wide his eyes are and can't get them to get even remotely normal. The sight of Shuichi's kagune, the proof, makes the hand behind Kokichi's back itch. They're so strange to see in a situation with no immediate danger or tension. Kokichi's own memories of seeing kagune before just aren't the same. Mostly because he knows that they're probably fake. 

The ‘Ultimate Supreme Leader’ wants to say that his memories of DICE here in this life are real. But Kokichi also knows that he can never be sure, not after giving up on diving that deeply long ago. There was a time when Kokichi could figure it out.

Now there just isn't a point. 

“Ouma-kun?” Shuichi frowns at Kokichi, kagune limp and shying away. Kokichi stares intently at the soft glow. 

They're standing close together, and the twin smells of tea and coffee make Kokichi relax despite himself. His mouth dries. 

“Can I have a closer look, Shuichi?” Kokichi says it without thinking. Some part of his brain is being pulled back into the past. 

For his credit, Shuichi doesn't seem very phased by the sudden first name basis. He fidgets but moves one of the appendages closer to Kokichi. 

Kokichi's abdominal muscles tighten as if to cringe away. 

Shuichi could kill Kokichi and eat him any moment now. Kokichi wouldn't be able to do a single thing to stop the kagune in front of him from just wacking his head into the floor hard enough to bust it open. 

Purple eyes dart between Shuichi's face and the would be murder weapon in the middle of them. It belongs to Shuichi, part of Kokichi reminds him, and Shuichi is safe. Almost always safe. Even when he isn't safe or trustworthy, Shuichi is different. 

Kokichi exhales. 

“C-can I touch it?” he digs his nails into the hands he uses. He wants Shuichi to say yes, or no, because Kokichi can use either answer. Kokichi isn't doing this for himself. 

Kokichi needs to help Shuichi too. 

Shuichi forgoes speaking and just provides a curt little nod as his ears turn red as well. God, is it different for ghouls who group or grow up with parents? Did Kokoro and her brother just not know organic weapon etiquette because they were orphans? 

“Nishishi,” Kokichi forces his usual laugh out to try and erase the anticipation making his hand shake. 

He used his left hand, the hurt hand, the one that Shuichi fret over earlier alongside the others. It's always that hand that gets hurt and cared for by Shuichi. 

The alien mass is just as hotwarm as it was last night, still but so very alive under Kokichi's palm. It radiates that warmth up to the bandage and the long cut underneath. 

Somehow, it helps with the hurt more than the pain pills given to Kokichi by Kaede. Maybe it's a different hurt. 

Kokichi bends down to peer up at it from a different angle. As always, his lips are curled upwards and he shoots Shuichi a smile. 

“Can these things be ticklish for you?” he asks. 

Shuichi twitches his lips. Ah. A tell or the urge to be sarcastic? 

“I do not think it works that way, for me at least.” Shuichi looks at Kokichi's fingers like they're loaded guns. 

“Nishi- well, the twins had a different type than you do. The really heavy kind closer to the shoulder,” Kokichi mentions off hand. He's more concerned with running his fingertips where the top and bottom meet. 

There's like, a little kind of seam almost? Where the front plates end and the rest is. 

A bit of sticky moisture starts secreting.

“So this is that slime from last night!” Kokichi exclaims. 

"Hh-h?!" Shuichi makes a startled noise that makes Kokichi jerk back. Shuichi pales and also gets even more flushed, having been calming down. He gawks openly at Kokichi. 

“W-what slime?” the ghoul asks with a concerned voice. 

Kokichi hums and his smile twists into a teasing leer, “Last night I found a bunch of clear stuff on my clothing where you had your graby ribbons on me.”

“Oh. That's, uh, just what happens when you over or under use your kagune. And sometimes it just happens anyway.” Shuichi watches Kokichi wipe his slick hand on the jacket behind him.

Kokichi grins once he's done. 

"So... your totally not tentacles can produce-"

“Ouma-kun no-” but Kokichi must continue. 

“Lube. Ricant.” Kokichi snickers as Shuichi looks at him defeated, silently asking ‘but why this, Ouma-kun?’ despite Kokichi needing no reason why. 

Shuichi groans and rubs his eyes, kagune falling to the floor like the tail of a sad dog denied treats. 

“It's not like that. It's just a biological cleaning thing!” comes the expected protest. 

"Like to be healthy and all, I see I see." Kokichi nods smugly. 

“So, Saihara-chan has self lubricating tentacles.”

Shuichi glares at him with a growing pout. It makes Kokichi laugh freely, something that quickly softens Shuichi's glower and makes his shoulders shake as Kokichi's amusement infects him. 

Soon they're both laughing and going back to their cooling drinks. 

Kokichi chugs down his much less tasty lukewarm tea and then pours himself more on instinct. He click-clacks in just one sugar cube and watches Shuichi make a face at the taste of his cold coffee. One of the half-ghoul’s kagune waps the floor. Cute.

“Does my beloved Saihara-chan not like iced coffee?” he asks with an impish smirk.

Shuichi raises an eyebrow at Kokichi.

“Iced coffee is alright, but if you think that cooled coffee counts then I have several objections,” Shuichi tells him with the straightest face.

Kokichi makes his jaw drop and lets a splash of his tea spill, “Noooo waaaay! Could my Saihara-chan possibly be a coffee snob!?”

Shuichi, having been taking a drink of his own freshly poured coffee at that exact second, starts to cough and choke on burning hot liquid. A hand thumps his chest as the other shakily returns messy cup to saucer.

“Ouma-kun is cruel,” the detective wheezes, a small smile on his face.

“Nishishishi! It’s because Shumai is super easy to tease, poor Ouma Kokichi just can’t help but be drawn to his embarrassment!” Kokichi throws a spare sugar cube into his tea on instinct, still staring at the curled up kagune behind Shuichi’s back. They rest over the chair and Kokichi keeps expecting Shuichi to put them away.

He reaches for his spoon and stirs in the sugar, not realizing that Shuichi has stopped moving until the half-ghoul darts forward to prevent Kokichi from drinking his tea. The nape of Kokichi’s neck itches. His wrist is being held gently but starts aching anyway.

Shuichi’s lips thin and his eyes look just a bit past Kokichi’s own.

“Um. Wrong sugar?” Shuichi says- half over the small table and far too close to Kokichi’s face.

Kokichi can see every micromovement of Shuichi’s face and eyelashes. His mouth dries out. 

“Wouldn’t exactly be the first time one of us made a horrible sugary mistake,” Kokichi cheerfully exclaims as he carefully extracts himself from Shuichi’s worried gold-grey gaze.”Did stuff like that ever happen for you? Your family.”

Kokichi very intently walks over the the small super-mini kitchenette. There’s a sink and pull out cabinet full of more cups and dishes, but for now he ignores those in favor of dumping his contaminated tea. If Shuichi hadn’t said anything, the way that his frozen moment of blue screen made it seem, Kokichi probably wouldn’t have noticed due to his own fascinations.

“Ah, well. My uncle and aunt are both humans, and my aunt is a nurse at a large hospital-” Shuichi’s soft voices starts droning on.

The sounds of what must be Shuichi cleaning up their spills reach Kokichi’s ears. He uses the arm-belt-tourniquets to tie up his sleeves and gets to washing the plain white teacup.

“So she always kept track of where all the… stuff is. There were times when we had to lay low, but my uncle is a fairly well liked detective.” The sound of napkins being thrown into a trashcan.

Kokichi hums for the voyeurs.

“Oh but, sometimes there were things like this that happened. Mostly when I was younger though! Like this one time when I was making a cake, I decided that it would be a good idea to use both sugars,” Shuichi laughs. “So how about you and DICE, Ouma-kun?”

Nostalgia builds up in Kokichi’s veins, spread from arteries and making his heart burn. 

Kokichi smiles and trots back to the table with a new teacup. He places it down perfectly oriented and ignores the stains on the table cloth. He wants to grab the teapot and pour out all of its innards until it’s smashed on the walls. Memories claw up at Kokichi’s eyes and those same invading thoughts knock at his door.

“I miss them, you know?” the hushed confession leaks out of Kokichi's mouth like cold tea.

“Sometimes- I start thinking they might have never been real,” Kokichi watches Shuichi's face twist with a familiar feeling. “But when I start thinking that way I end up thinking that it would be nice to never leave here.”

Kokichi walks around the table and grabs hold of Shuichi’s still present ‘murder weapons’. For them in this life and so many others he’d had to-

Shuichi's breath hitches while Kokichi continues to investigate his kagune and it's glowing marble-gold. 

He speaks louder than Kokichi would dare, “I know you told me that before, that you wanted to stay here forever- but we shouldn't! We'll all go home soon. And we won't leave one another just because we put this place behind us.”

“Says someone who suggested burning the gym down.” 

“Oh, did Amami-kun actually tell you about that? Well… now you’re changing the subject,” Shuichi’s lips waver as he clears his throat.

Kokichi tries to respond, either with something cutting or something pathetic, where has his childish excitement even gone-

“Ouma-kun, you've been hurting too, haven't you?” Shuichi says it like a question, but it's more an assertion than anything else. “I'm sorry that I didn't realize before now.”

“Hurt? Saihara-chan sure is being silly! I'm just trying to butter him up so that I can ask all sor-ts of q-quu…”

Kokichi can't breathe anymore. He was doing so well, he has been just fine with the humanizing, so why is he breaking again? Kokichi can't keep going on like this. Bringing Shuichi to a place that Kokichi feels safe in was a mistake. Kokichi wishes Shuichi had just sent him off to the next game with the next waiting body and saved him the trouble. 

Parasite. Parasite!

Stop that-

Shuichi is looking at Kokichi, getting closer, and now that warm body heat is spreading over Kokichi like a person shaped blanket. 

“I didn't ask you to start hugging me like I just found out that I'm terminal,” Kokichi grits his teeth. 

This is supposed to be fun and sweet. 

This was supposed to be Kokichi and Shuichi having a funny comic relief Q&A about random daily life for half ghouls. Kokichi needs to help Shuichi. He needs to make up for everything he’ll keep doing for the rest of his despicable existence. He needs to make sure that Shuichi won’t get a happy ending ruined by men in white coats carrying familiar-scented corpses in brief cases.

Kokichi instead lays himself bare and ends up crying like a frightened virgin on a wedding night. He just keeps getting more pathetic. 

Shuichi pulls him tight. 

“Ouma-kun… I'll answer all of your questions, okay?” Shuichi says. Sickeningly slow and kind. When he isn’t, Kokichi knows, it's always never his fault. Except for those times where it is because Shuichi is too different and so very not himself. 

“Why?” Kokichi demands in turn. 

Shuichi exhales through his nose.

“Because Ouma-kun is my friend. You're a good person and always do your best to make the others feel better in your way. It might be too much to say, but I think you need to take care of yourself too.”

My friend. Good person. Feel better. 

Kokichi wants to yell about how many times he's hurt everyone, how many times he's killed, actually killed or each failure but all of them are failu-

shuichi dead in the birdcage in himiko's lab wrapped in white and head covered by a veil with just a smudge of lipstick because he got too close to the wrong person And no one listened

(You: in white space static and white hair) 

miu taking everyone into the fake fake world and never ever letting them out calling it mercy and efficiency And no one listened

(Will not: with vantablack skin and gestalt weight) 

convincing himself and gonta that it's the right thing to do over and over in different ways and meaning it as often as he doesn't And no one listened because life isn’t fair

(Stop yet: wearing an amalgamation of one's own face) 

waking up and staring at the survivors with dead eyes when they ask him to testify against danganronpa because how dare they ask kokichi to help them kill his last resort And no one listens because you are not worth it

(Because of him: Your finger brought against Your mirrored lips.)

Shuichi holds Kokichi tighter while he snarls against him, the familiar but probably not real sensation of kagune wrapping around him. 

They don't leave the lab for a long time. 

Kokichi hiccups and asks even stupider questions that he half knows the answer to. Sometimes he lies too viciously and even insults the detective across from him, but he doesn't leave. Shuichi continually obliges him and tries not to let Kokichi bait him into a reaction. The constant ribbing about kagune slime makes it hard, probably. He really hopes that at least someone is watching. 

When they do leave, Monokuma is outside waiting for them. 

They don't let go of the other's hand.


	3. Nervous System

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi nears the ending allotted to him. He will not go quietly, for he never does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Interruption  
> As long as the system is responsive, infinite loops can often be interrupted by sending a signal to the process (such as SIGINT in Unix), or an interrupt to the processor, causing the current process to be aborted. This can be done in a task manager, in a terminal with the Control-C command, or by using the kill command or system call. However, this does not always work, as the process may not be responding to signals or the processor may be in an uninterruptible state, such as in the Cyrix coma bug (caused by overlapping uninterruptible instructions in an instruction pipeline). In some cases other signals such as SIGKILL can work, as they do not require the process to be responsive, while in other cases the loop cannot be terminated short of system shutdown.'

Kokichi stares at the monochrome nightmare before him. Both he and Shuichi are clinging, hand to hand, bracing themselves for Monokuma. 

The bear looks at their hands. 

The bear looks at their faces. 

Monokuma throws his mismatched paws up into the air with a blushing smile. 

“Congratulations, you've both managed to get around 11037 friendship fragments with each other at once! Still not sure how that's possible. But whatever!” Monokuma yells at them. 

Kokichi wants to shove that Leon reference back up its grotesque snout. But Shuichi doesn't say anything and Kokichi follows his lead. They glare down the pink dusted Monokuma. Together, and boy, if that isn’t just intoxicating.

“Geee, kids these days…” Monokuma rubs at his nonexistent jaw. "Also, try to keep it in your pants until I can drop off some 'rubbers'."

Shuichi makes a high pitched strangled noise. 

“Some extra extra huge ones if you're into that.”

“What, no I mean, what?!” the detective stammers.

Kokichi echoes him with an additional scoff, ”Yeah, what? I didn't know that hand holding required condoms!”

“Don't scoff at me, young man, you literally touched his private parts,” Monokuma says in reply. The blush on the thing’s face is replaced by a dangerous snarl. 

Shuichi covers his mouth with his spare hand. 

“Ou- Kokichi-kun did not do that. Nothing like that happened,” Shuichi slowly says to everyone, possibly himself too. 

Kokichi tries to not laugh and possibly fails if Shuichi's embarrassed glare is anything to go by. Really, it's partly to cover up Kokichi's own blush. 

Monokuma grrrs at them as if to threaten the two boys. The basement chill settles into Kokichi's bones, but he keeps his hand where it belongs. He’s been killed enough times by the bear to know that nothing will happen right now.

“Since I am a stellar and exemplary headmaster- I will let this slide and endeavor to properly teach you kids later. But those things will require some beeaary stretchy rubber if you catch my meaning.” The simulated blush and moe eyes return. 

Kokichi wishes he could puke all over the gross bastard. Stupid murder bot shitter. Where the fuck does Tsumugi and Team Dangan Ronpa get off saying this crap? ‘Ouma Kokichi’ and ‘Saihara Shuichi’ are, as characters despite chronological age, supposed to be high schoolers. Like, first years or second years. 

They’re usually-actually legal because paperwork demands no real minors, but still. Even in the dating game, it’s like this.

“We don't care!” Kokichi informs him. 

Monokuma face faults into the ground and momentarily cries about how his precious students hate him. Kokichi almost drags Shuichi forward in order to step on the thing. But that would further ruin the good feelings completely, so Kokichi just swings their joined hands and waits it out. Tsumugi will get bored eventually. Huh, is Shuichi actually talking to Monokuma? 

Shuichi is so nice, and silly. 

“Right, that's it! I'll just ask my Cubs what kids like these days!” Monokuma says. “Monokuma out!”

The animatronic bear jumps backwards into a large clump of weeds and bush. 

Kokichi raises their now sweaty hands in victory, expelling a huge sigh of relief. 

“Oh thank Angie's deity, I thought he'd never go,” he tells Shuichi. Their eyes meet and Shuichi grows flustered again. 

 

Shuichi smiles at him. 

“Is it alright that I used your first name?” Shuichi asks him. 

Kokichi stares and slowly grins. Shuichi looks distinctly apprehensive of whatever look might be on Kokichi's face, so Kokichi quietly darts up to give him a peck on the check. Shuichi makes an adorable ‘mmm’ noise in his throat and it makes Kokichi want to press his ear to Shuichi's chest.

“If I can call Shuichi by his first name, then I absolutely want him to use mine!” Kokichi says.

Shuichi smiles like a goof and looks away with red ears. Stupidly cute. God. Kokichi needs to tease Shuichi since right yesterday-now.

Kokichi tries to say something-

But then Miu’s wail reaches his ears and he has a split second of warning to brace himself. 

“WHHEEEREE WEREHH YOOUUU?!” Miu barrels into him with an angry parent screech and drowns him in her chest. God damn it, Kokichi groans to himself. Of course Miu would end up running down to him.

Then gravity takes control and slams him into Shuichi, who instinctively wraps his arms around Kokichi in an attempt to keep them all upright. Miu makes a sound akin to a giant upsetti spaghetti moth as she makes them half tip over like some stupid conga train of ‘lol randum’ teens in a mall.

“Iruma-san, please control yourself,” Shuichi says from above Kokichi’s skull. 

Miu’s eyes snap to the way that Shuichi and Kokichi are leaning into one another. She opens her mouth and stares at their still pink faces. Kokichi can see the gears in her invention obsessed brain turn, until finally she gets off of Kokichi and takes in how they continue to stay together.

“Sup, slutfriend?” Kokichi verbally prods her.

The blonde turns around to watch as Rantaro and Kiibo catch up to her.

“Ohmgigaaaawd Kiibo, Kiibo, they did the thing,” Miu whispers as Kiibo gawks at her. Rantaro looks a bit sweaty, and incredulous for that matter, glancing at Shuichi and Kokichi.

Kiibo and Rantaro look at each other.

“I mean, I don’t think they did?” Rantaro says it like a question, raised eyebrows.

“We did not!” Shuichi says, just as Kokichi starts to rant about five- no, ten inch thick and twenty inch long penises. This makes Miu squeal and everyone else sigh because they have no concept of humor. Kokichi really is alone here. So alone, how horrible. If only Miu could actually stop squirming around like a worm.

The robot among them facepalms, “But I suppose that you two are indeed the couple that the Monocubs announced?”

Motherfucking Smoogi.

“Yeppers, we sure are ‘Kiiboi,” Kokichi says with all the dryness that he can muster. It’s the most civil that he’ll be getting.

Kiibo straightens and smiles at them with confidence. Rantaro gives a quick thumbs up.

Miu goes red and makes a ‘hhhhnnnnggguh’ from the back of her throat. Then, she giggles past her hands and eyes them like a predator. It makes Shuichi grasp hold of Kokichi hand again, though he’d already been doing that since they got untangled from one another.

“No woooonder you never actually look-looked at me, you little munchkin shit,” she says happily. “If you two ever need anything, anything at all, my lab. My lab is open.”

Kokichi leans back to see the most ‘just ate a lemon’ looking smile on Shuichi’s face. It makes laughter bubble up in his chest, still way too light feeling from all the happiness chemicals flowing inside of Kokichi’s brain, and Kokichi doesn’t bother trying to contain it.

He bursts out laughing just as Shuichi mumbles something about never ever doing that.

Rantaro clears his throat, “Well, anyway. Everyone is a bit buzzy from you two just vanishing and then the sudden couple thing. We should head back.”

Buzzy? Must be spending time with Gonta. Kokichi’s lips twitch. Rantaro realizes that he got caught and looks away just a bit. Miu starts whispering to Kiibo about… Oh, Miu.

Kokichi takes hold of Shuichi and resumes his plan to spend time with his new maybe boyfriend, walking off past their fellow students and giggling when they follow behind. Shuichi keeps up next to him, hand warm and a bit damp, and Kokichi happily steps over some stray plants. His chest has a pit that hurts. He feels great, too.

“I wanna take a naaaap,” Kokichi whines into Shuichi shoulder, having traded just hand holding for staking his claim by clinging onto Shuichi’s arm instead. “Shu-chan should let me sleep in his bed!”

Miu cackles behind them.

“Oum-koo,” Shuichi struggles to stay coherent.

“Ooooumkoo?”

Shuichi glowers at him with red checks, “Kokichi-kun, please stop teasing me.”

Kokichi hums in deep thought, a finger on his bottom lip. If he stops teasing Shuichi then he won’t be able to tease the others either. That’s just not optimal right now.

“Nah!” Kokichi smiles up at his boyfriend. He hears Rantaro, ever serious and responsible, sigh in the back. Yes good.

When they get to the cafeteria, everyone is there for dinner. Everyone is also looking at them and a few people are trying to not second hand blush. Kokichi mimicking a sloth might be connected to that. He snuggles Shuichi harder as they sit down together.

Kirumi sets down dinner, Kokichi’s being a repeat of his breakfast with no meat. He eyes it with dread. Tea with sugar could be enough, right? Instead of just getting sick and waking up in the middle of the night to throw it up. He has enough dry and chewy snacks back under his mattress.

No, don’t do something that foolish. You need to eat. Make it fun.

Kokichi sets himself into Shuichi’s lap. The detective tenses up but doesn’t try to dislodge him, even when Tenko screams at the sight. Himiko nyehs.

“Well, that’s… forward,” Shuichi says to himself, chopsticks holding up some ramen noodles.

Kokichi nods and opens his mouth. And leaves it open.

Shuichi stares at him like he’s from a different planet.

Kokichi frowns, “Shu-chan should be feeding me now.” And then he opens his mouth up again, to which Tenko loudly protests with a wordless gasp.

But the only thing that his purple doe eyes are looking at is the shy smile hinted at by Shuichi’s face, those gold and sometimes not quite gold eyes meeting his own, and the feeling of Shuichi reaching over for Kokichi’s plate.

Oh god, he’s actually doing it, Kokichi thinks as his eyes widen and a small piece of multigrain blueberry pancake is placed into his mouth.

He closes his lips around the fork and starts to chew once it gets removed. It’s delicious and spongy, even though Kirumi made it all healthier. Kokichi grinds down grain and seeds with bursts of warm blueberry, suddenly feeling his own delayed embarrassment flow over him. The next forkful, now with fresh fruit and some light whip cream, gets rejected in favor of Kokichi using Shuichi’s chopstick to snap up some noodles.

Shuichi has maybe five seconds to open his mouth before Kokichi shoves the noodles in. 

Tenko continues her meltdown in flustered silence.  
“Right! Okay! Good, that is very cute and very nice, however-” Rantaro interrupts their moment with a near frantic smile. “You two are kind of making everyone overheat from the fuzzy feelings.”

Kokichi glances around at everyone either watching, or trying to hide their red faces. Korekiyo is staring into the distance because he’s a freak, while Gonta is smiling like a puppy but also looking very confused. Kiibo’s simulated expressions are utterly crimson. His antenna-hoge is spiked up in total shock and his mouth is fully open. Himiko is wedged between an ecstatic Angie and a glitching Tenko.

Not even Tsumugi has actually eaten.

Bangs shade Kokichi’s face as a sly grin spreads across it. 

“Nishishishi~! Could it be that Amami-chan is jelly over me and my beloved BOYFRIEND?!” Kokichi exclaims while Tsumugi giggles to herself.

“A love triangle is so cliche, but that’s not a bad thing!” the cosplayer mutters into her water. Ugh.

“Too bad. I’ll feed you if you want, but alas, my heart will only ever belong to Shuichi!” he says more to Tsumugi than anyone else. Kokichi would just love to see her try and shove some stupid crap between them.

Dinner, and Kokichi’s second breakfast, resume when Kokichi separates himself from Shuichi’s lap. It’s so very difficult to resist sending the oh so mature Rantaro into a tissy, but Kokichi manages.

Somehow.

By the time Kokichi and Shuichi are done filling up with nervous energy and sneaking one another bites of food, most other people have left. 

Tsumugi remains to drink tea, along with the Kaito-Kaede-Maki power trio. Often power quad.

Kokichi feels like a dirty little thief and it’s amazing. Although. Maki is giving him the stink eye and that’s sliiightly less amazing.

“Is something wrong, Harumaki-roll?” Kokichi blinks at the murder aesthetic girl. Wide cute eyes learned-copied from someone he respects, the adorable sight that makes grown men fall to their knees.

The assassin peers into his soul through him with bright red eyes.

“I’ll kill you if you even slightly upset Saihara,” she says.

Kaito coughs up more of his orange juice. Could be worse! Could be more of his blood. Kokichi smacks himself on the leg, disgusted, hiding it with a bright smile.

“Don’t worry!” Kokichi chirps. “I’ll only lightly roast and bulli him.”

Maki fidgets and messes with her hair. Something that they often have in common. 

“F-fine. Then, Kaito and I will leave him to you,” Maki says as if she and Kaito have officially adopted Shuichi. Harukawa Shuichi. Momota Shuichi. Harumomo Shuichi?

Kokichi internally shrugs and ignores the small pit of dread in his chest. Just avoid looking at Tsumugi. Just keep smiling with Shuichi, because you are in fact happy and unthreatened. Get up when Shuichi finishes saying farewell to his friends.

“Have a great evening, you two!” Kaede tells them, turning back to Tsumugi with a soft smile.

“Hey Shuichi,” Kokichi says once they’re in the hallway. “I think that I wanna take that nap after all.”

The boy in question looks down at him and grasps his hand again. They walk off without words, and soon enough Kokichi is collapsed onto Shuichi’s bed. It’s probably the same as Kokichi’s but-

It feels better. 

Compared to Kokichi’s room, Shuichi’s is fairly empty.

Kokichi closes his eyes and surrenders to the pillow beneath his heavy head. He hears Shuichi pace around and murmur soft words. Kokichi opens his eyes. Yup, Shuichi is pacing with no idea what to do.

Kokichi sighs super loudly.

Shuichi stops and turns around to look at him, but Kokichi is already patting the other side of the bed.

“Shu-chan does realize that couples usually nap together in these situations, right?” Kokichi uses the cutest mocking tone he can muster. Man, Shuichi sure does blush easily. Is it a ghouly thing? It could just be a ‘oh no my boyfriend is too cute and I must hug him’ thing too.

Kokichi sniggers when Shuichi slowly walks closer to the bed, his own bed, with trepidation. He darts forward and pulls Shuichi down into the blankets with a childish laugh. Shuchi struggles but quickly submits to Kokichi’s impish wiles.

“Nee-heehehehshi!” A mutant sort of thing makes his stomach and shoulders convulse with delight at Shuichi’s shriek of terror. All at once an indescribable urge fills Kokichi’s fingers. They begin the assault.

“St-stop that, Kokichi-kun!” Shuichi’s eyes fly open as Kokichi starts to tickle his sides.

Kokichi cackles over him.

“Nooope! Not ever in your life, this will be the rest of your existence!” he yells at Shuichi, who is preoccupied with squirming on the bed in laughter.

And then Shuichi fights back by grabbing a pillow and slapping Kokichi over the head with it.

Kokichi forces himself very still. Shuichi freezes.

“Uhm,” Shuichi looks at the pillow and shimmies out of Kokichi’s grasp. Kokichi smiles, hides his eyes with his bangs, and kneels on the bed. This is evidently a scary face to be making, judging from the way Shuichi grows pale at the sight of it.

“Shu-ichi-chaaan!” Kokichi sings.

Shuchi covers his sides with both arms.

“I’m tired again, let’s go sleep,” and then he drops down on Shuichi like a log. “My eyes feel heavy and now my fingers are cramped from attacking Shuichi-chan.”

The detective sighs in relief and chuckles, pulling the faux limp Kokichi back up to the top of the bed and onto a pillow. Like a proper sleeper, how cute!

Kokichi grabs onto Shuichi’s chest and curls up. Hopefully he’ll get some good dreams with Shuichi next to him. Memories of better places with no Killing games or Dating games, just fun and sometimes dramatic lives that take control of Kokichi instead of the other way around. Harmless vacations where Kokichi follows Shuichi home from Ireland, inhuman and sometimes headless, or where they go to school together and pine.

Kokichi lets his eyes become glued shut and listens to Shuichi’s heartbeat. He’s full in a way that’s utterly pleasant for the first time in days and there’s someone that actually wants to hold him.

Shuichi shuffles. A warm hand meets the top of Kokichi’s head, smoothing down twisted locks of hair. Down and back again.

He drifts off to sleep while Shuchi breathes.

For a while, even his dreams stay sweet and infected by endorphins. For a while. But Kokichi knows that Shuichi can’t keep him safe forever, even warped around him and entwined, because even if Kokichi wins the game; it will repeat.

Kokichi wavers in and out of lives at the speed of light, because He can never find that one person. The only thing worth looking for keeps slipping out of his fingers no matter how stuck or fluid he becomes. 

And it is so very painful. He is so very lonely. 

The lies pile up and dye His skin with their hateful ink. Time bleaches His hair like bones. Everything else around Him and him melts to the same flat color.

(It isn’t fair after all. I know that. Don’t You?)

He plucks strands and chunks and sews them up like little dolls attached to Him by writhing umbilical cords. They grin and smile and walk according to cue, slit eyes filling up with hysteria while everyone else looks away. Really, that’s just how life works.

(Because you can’t stop.)

“Kokichi?” It hurts. 

White static fills his senses and a vicious smile glares down at him like the lowly cell that he is. Oh so very tired. It hurts, that really hurts, hey!

Kokichi forces his eyes open to a blurry shaking face, voice ringing in his ears, screaming and clawing at the person in front of him because not again ‘not again’ not again- He doesn’t want to die again! Kokichi doesn’t want to go back to the locker.

Words rip out, “Go away!”

“Kokichi, calm down!” A familiar voice yells at him past an ocean of discarded dolls.

Hand made with His hopes and yearning in their blood. But it never works.

Kokichi sees gold eyes in the dark, but he can’t care, he can’t think; so Kokichi swipes his nails across the phantom’s face-eyes as hard as he can. It hisses and jerks back from pain.

[Ouma-kun, please stop! But This is repetitive, and This is boring, so Kokichi smiles and didn’t Shuichi want his answers? The knife digs in. Lights go out. 

Kokichi switches back on again with a lurching gasp into the same life. The bathroom is still covered in weeks old layers of caked blood from finding out what makes the mechanism tick. Figuring out the time stamps until that ghost forms out of black sand.

Shuichi is crying into his hair, and Kokichi can no longer comprehend why anyone would do that.]

“Shuichi… Shuichi-” his voice croaks into the air at no one because no one listens. The shadowy mass in front of him quivers unharmed. Where is he? Is it that again, is it this again, where is Kokichi?

Something wraps around him and he can’t help but fight against it.

“Shhh. I-it’s okay, I’m already right here.” Something paps his face.

“I don’t want to go back-” but Kokichi can’t breathe enough to speak. Is this Shuichi, is this one that will smile at Kokichi like he matters? Kokichi wants that kind of Shuichi the most. It’ll be fine so long as Shuichi can bear to be in the same room as him.

Maybe-Shuichi holds him more. Is he the mastermind again? Is he going to smile too widely and laugh and congratulate Kokichi for figuring it out just after they finally finally had-

Slowly, Kokichi stops being able to move. It’s so heavy even though it’s not cold. He bets that this wants to kill him too. Kokichi can tell that he’s going to die one way or another, because even when he gets to live he loses.

The person touching him starts shuddering, and Kokichi realizes that he must have said that outloud. He tries to make his heavy-burning eyes blink past the haze and-

Bright pink-red eyes half moon grin. 

(Because you don’t want to. Because he can’t bare it.)

It’s bright here. The only thing around is white and empty space. 

Kokichi is looking at Himself. Some strange and disturbing thing that has taken his form and got all the colors inverted. Or, it's something that plucked up one of a different set of ‘hims’ to adopt the form of, with long hair and a petite girlish charm, because the possibilities that Kokichi gets to live as will never end. Gestalt. The file size keeps growing and Kokichi keeps repeating as if infinity. A head of snakes balled up and reproducing like a hydra.

It, You who is so many mb-gigabyte-terabytes bigger and perfectly cognizant, is not the hero of this story; because a story will not always have a hero. 

He can’t feel anything but He knows in his bones that he’s been here before, that he’ll slip into these cracks again, and that Ouma Kokichi will never stop. Not until something else stops first. He has no idea how to make Him stop crying.

(Aren’t you going to say something, you drone?)

So this is the one perpetuating. So this is Kokichi’s face.

Weakness even at his core.

But Kokichi blinks again and slams into his feverish body with a throb cracking out of his head and down his spinal cord. He gazes up at Shuichi with wide, empty, eyes and thinks that he needs to say anything to make this better.

Instead, “Ba-bathroom…” 

Shuchi pulls him up with arms and more until Kokichi stumbling into his shower and turning it on fully dressed.

It’s freezing cold before Shuichi squeezes his way to the shower knobs.

Then Kokichi is still soaked by the fake rain, but he's at least warm. He tries to let his legs sink him back and down onto the shower floor like usual. But Shuichi refuses to let him drop down, instead trying to remove water heavy clothing from him.

All that results in is the two of them getting sprayed on by the shower. It feels great, really, watching water run down Shuichi’s twisted up face.

Kokichi hates himself.

“It’s not your fault, Shuichi,” Kokichi reminds the frightened boy. “I’ve been getting like this for a while now.”

Shuichi’s kagune holds Kokichi closer despite his words, “How long have you been getting nightmares this bad? Please…” Please tell me. Please don’t lie, with words or silence.

Purple eyes look just an inch above dark blueish hair and wonder just what Shuichi expects from him. Kokichi couldn’t even be stable or happy for just one half of a day. A voice bubbles up to say that, yes, this is all Shuichi’s fault for making Kokichi stop repressing all the memories. It’s Shuichi’s fault. It’s your fault for pretending and following him as if you were just some concerned friend, all while denying that such a thing could exist. When it’s all you want.

Kokichi can lie and tell the truth. Just press the reset button and move on. Smile.

“I guess I’ve been getting them since we got here! I mean, Monokuma keeps hinting about the killing game. It’s hard to get good sleep like that,” Kokichi says.

Shuichi gives him a disturbed look.

That’s fine. Shuichi won’t leave him, except for that one time but that isn’t now. Maybe Kokichi is ignoring that Shuichi can be an awful person too. Maybe Kokichi should give into the urge to highlight every awful thing that Shuichi has ever done to anyone ever, starting with how he probably signed up to get brainwashed and murdered for fun. A big gross fanboy that writes about his own grand murder-suicides in cheap notebooks. How sometimes he’s still like that even in the game.

But that’s not always true. But that’s not always just him, ever.

People only join Dangan Ronpa for one reason.

Kokichi was gloating about being oh so above anything like this just yesterday. He’s a lying hypocrite that can’t even want to die- because he can’t stop.

Shuichi shoves his hair back.

“Oh worm, Shuichi, are you about to cry?” Kokichi tries to joke around, bumping his shoulder up against Shuichi’s own.

But it’s too late and Shuichi takes hold of him even when Kokichi gives his damp face a nice little pap. They end up sitting in cooling water drops for some pitiful minutes, the half-ghoul sobbing and breaking into small smatterings of language.

Kokichi ruins everything by freaking out batshit crazy, calms down to realize that he’s fucked up.

News at eleven.

“Shumai shouldn’t be crying because of my nightmares, you know,” Kokichi kisses his forehead. It’s a bit twisted, but Kokichi starts to give Shuchi headpats similar to just before he went to sleep. “This isn’t your fault. Actually, you helped! I got some sleep today because of you.”

Shuchi shakes his head but doesn’t say anything.

Eventually, they get out of the cool water streaming down and change themselves. Kokichi would normally be ecstatic to be wearing Shuichi’s clothing to bed. Now he’s attaching himself to Shuichi in some strange remix of what had happened last night, Kokichi embracing Shuichi while Shuichi sobs. What an odd pair they must make.

How repetitive. 

“Tomorrow we should go prank Amami-chan for being a stick in the mud. Just get some balloons from my lab and fill them up with paint as revenge and stress relief.”

Kokichi grabs a spare towel and starts drying Shuichi’s hair, “Or we could graffiti the hallways!”

It makes Shuichi laugh. The laugh itself is shockingly similar to a certain Shuichi’s laugh, and it makes Kokichi smile. He misses that oh so morbid, but rigidly law abiding in an attempt to seem normal, Shuichi who would talk about his cousins and worry that Kaito would stop putting up with the abnormal behavior leaking through. Wednesday, he’d say, would always try to use the guillotine on him during visits.

Whatever god that keeps spinning things around sure does have a nasty sense of humor.

Just throw ideas at the wall until something works.

The towel gets more damp than dry fairly quick, it seems. Kokichi runs his hand through Shuichi's hair and deems it acceptable. At least that persistent cowlick is still around. Kokichi can't remember the stubborn strand ever not being there. Even when everyone looks different. 

Kokichi giggles at memories of certain Kaito ‘designs’, wondering what the hell anyone had been thinking about those. So floofy. 

Shuichi makes a shaky round of inhale-exhale and pulls away, making Kokichi's heart ache. The other boy rubs at his eyes, and tries to straighten his shoulders, but there isn't much point. They both look like shit. 

Kokichi can't help but smile anyway. 

“I'm-”

“No apologies,” Kokichi gently reminds him. 

Gold-grey eyes flicker around the room and settle to the side of Kokichi's left hand. 

“I've been having nightmares too,” Shuichi confesses. “So, I guess I just… panicked. When you started having one that was even worse than mine.”

Kokichi feels something gross in his stomach. 

“I know you aren't supposed to wake people up if they're having night terrors, but I did and it made you worse,” the half ghoul says with his head bowed into his chest. 

Kokichi swallows down hope, “I don't really remember anything before you dragged me into the bathroom.” 

A lie. What a big horrible lie, it's been a while since he told one. 

Only that's a lie too. 

Shuichi looks like he wants to say something. For a second his lips even get ready to open up. Kokichi knows he won't though-

“Kokichi-kun said he didn't want to die again,” Shuichi murmurs. 

Ah, but no, did I? Kokichi wrecks his brain for the answer. He might have said something like that. Shuichi is a detective too, so he certainly could gather that from when Kokichi was stuck asleep while awake. 

Kokichi frowns at his lap and falls over. 

“Ou- Kokichi-kun?!” Shuichi yelps as he gets dragged down as well. 

“Congratulations, you've discovered that nightmares don't make sense!” Kokichi says in a parody of Monokuma's earlier announcement. 

Shuichi's eyes look into his as if seeing him for the first time. 

It's a look that Kokichi knows well. 

Then Shuichi closes his eyes. 

“That's right… they don't make sense, do they?” the detective questions himself. 

Kokichi giggles. 

“Nope! All my precious Shuichi needs to do is hold on to me. We'll help each other beat the little nasties trying to infect our dreams!” Kokichi proudly exclaims. 

His boyfriend huffs but snuggles closer. Kokichi lets Shuichi's head bump against his covered collar bones. Shuichi's shirt and pants are big on him, like swimming in them tier big, and Kokichi loves how safe they feel. 

Maybe Kokichi will only wear Shuichi's clothing from now on. 

They talk into one another until sleep comes for them again. Heavy eyelids and long periods of microsleeping. Kokichi being the big spoon for once, which is amazing. 

He dreams about cats in his hoodie, following him around like a pied piper, and attacking unsuspecting people on command. Then there are his parents, a set of two with blonde hair and red hair. And him a set of two with badly thought out hair dye, and-

Kokichi wakes up to the morning announcement and Shuichi staring up at the ceiling in total desperation to go back to sleep. 

“Hheewwwooo.” Kokichi cringes at the sound of his own voice, but seeing Shuichi jolt up at the cursed sound is extremely worth it. 

Man, deer in headlights is such a great look on Shuichi. His once peaceful ‘I cried but now I'm sleeping’ face is overtaken by an expression of pure terror and frustration. 

“You keep making those faces!” Shuichi says. 

He runs a hand through unbrushed hair. Classic Shuichi bed head. 

Kokichi leers, “What faces?”

“The nightmare faces that make you look like an anime villain,” Shuichi deadpans. 

Kokichi stretches his leer even wider and wheezes happily when Shuichi just stops looking at him entirely. 

“Shushu is so adorable! If you want, I can teach you how to make such expressions!” Kokichi switches to a more cheerful and sweet look in less than a second. Shuichi scowls at him, but his ears are turning pink. 

“I think I'll stick to understanding how my own face works.”

So Kokichi laughs at that, and laughs some more, until he's inside his room getting a shower by himself. 

Still laughing. 

There's still an empty pit in his chest. Kokichi isn't being all naturally drugged by happy brain chess like yesterday. There's no ‘just got together,’ high. But Shuichi is going to be there once Kokichi is done getting ready, Shuichi is going to smile at him, this Shuichi won't tell him that he's going to die alone and be right. 

Kokichi grabs up his blow dryer from its place on the sink counter. He can be extra fluffy. Yeah. 

He wipes away the bags under his eyes with practiced applications of makeup. Pale foundation bought from the days when Monophanie runs the school stores. Easy to get in the dating game. 

His reflection smiles at him and it feels like burning in his amygdala. 

Leaving the hoarder style bedroom, glancing back at the whiteboard covered with black scribbles, Kokichi makes sure to just slowly inch out of the doorway. 

Shuichi is waiting for him. 

“Why, good morning, my good friend of mine, my Shuichi-chan!” Kokichi says. 

Shuichi smiles and stops leaning on the railing. 

“I thought that we were boyfriends?”

Kokichi walks up to him with a curious look on his face. He hums, eyes staring up at Shuichi like he's never seen the detective before. 

“That does in fact seem to be the case, but perhaps we should do an investigation?” he ponders aloud. Kokichi punctuates it by grabbing Shuichi's hand. 

Shuichi accepts Kokichi's aggressive affection and lets him take the lead. 

“What do you mean?” Shuichi asks. 

Kokichi snickers at him. 

“I mean that we should go on our first official date as a real couple!” Kokichi shouts it loudly down the halls, and basically, he just wants to revel in it. 

He's dating Shumai. Kokichi can be happy for as long as it lasts. 

Shuichi laughs by Kokichi's side, soft and breathy. He holds Kokichi's hand just a bit tighter while Kokichi's brain works on making the hole in his heart smaller. 

But when they get to breakfast they first get to witness an angry Hoshi quietly storm out of the cafeteria. 

He pauses to give them a look of half regret and mostly tired frustration. 

No. No. Don't you fucking dare, Kokichi tells himself. It could just be an argument. It must have just been an argument. Don't chance things by thinking. 

But Kokichi can't stop thinking. 

He lets Shuichi's hand go in favor of strangling his sleeve with both hands. 

When they walk in, the first thing they notice is Monokuma standing on the table looking smug. 

The second thing, is what Kiibo says. 

“Please do not worry everyone! In case of a revealed ghoul, my restrictions are lifted and I will become combat capable.”

No-

Himiko mumbles into Angie's side. 

What are you doing-

Kokichi walks up to Kiibo. He sneers at him, at Monokuma, and at Tsumugi. 

“Soooo what's this about a ghoul?” Kokichi does not recognize Kiibo's proud smile. 

Kokichi does not look at Shuichi behind him. 

Kiibo looks so confident. The room is dizzy. 

Tsumugi coughs, glancing at the people she tugs around like toys, “Monokuma said that one of us has been a ghoul. T-this whole time!”

Staring Kokichi right in the eyes. He should have killed her in the AV room.

Hang her or bash her head in with a shotput.

Monokuma laughs like the stupid puppet that it is.

“That's correct! They were placed here as part of a social experiment, but now that their time is up they must be retrieved,” Monokuma goes dark and sinister on unseen cue. “However, I won't be helping with that.”

Tsumugi shrieks and backs up into Kaede's space. Behind them, Maki steps in front of Kaito by just a few centimeters. 

Kokichi is already in front of Shuichi. He wonders if Shuichi knows why. 

"If the ghoul is not ready for pick up, then they'll be left here and have no repercussions for any actions they take. Subsequently, their food supply will not be restored." Monokuma starts laughing hysterically, slapping his belly, and matching Kokichi's own contorted expression. 

“No provider, huh?” Kokichi giggles. That's fine, but no it isn't but if it was last time-

If it was last time then. Kokichi could just. 

Monokuma joins with an upupupu. 

“So, basically, you kids will get to play the killing game after all!” Monokuma concludes his preprogrammed shit take. 

Kiibo gives him a nervous look, “Ouma-kun…”

Maki steps forward with a loud grunt, gathering eyes, and pulls a knife from her skirt. 

“Maki-chan?!” Kaede shouts while holding onto Tsumugi's unworthy shoulders. She should let the bitch fall or push her into Monokuma and hope they both explode. 

“Ghouls cannot be harmed by conventional weapons. I have the necessary tools to restrain them in my room. Kiibo has one built into his crisis mode. ”

Maki pulls up her sleeve, and before Gonta or Kaito-Kaede can leap to stop her in time, she cuts a thin line across her upper arm. 

Angie and Korekiyo gaze at each other and Angie takes a small knife from her coat pockets. 

“Angie does not think that the red eyed one will necessarily do as Monokuma implies, but Atua and Angie both see the logic in this. So Angie shall make this a tribute to Atua!” she sings openly. Of course. 

Korekiyo nods. 

Kokichi needs to get Shuichi out of here, he knows. 

The knives gets cleaned and dirtied over and over.   
Token protests don't mean anything. 

Even Rantaro, who never stops scowling and making sure everyone knows how stupid this all is, ends up caving with a stormy expression. 

But Tenko. Tenko takes hold of Himiko and darts towards Kokichi and Shuichi. 

“Tenko refuses to give into that menacing bear’s madness!” the Neo-Akido practicer yells. “And you are all ruining everything for the two lesser menaces as well, you should be ashamed even if they are men!”

Kokichi feels a gut punch coming but then, hey. Tenko is never actually that bad. She barely ever kills anyone. 

Himiko holds onto Tenko, and Kokichi feels happy that they found one another again. 

From the way Kaito is hovering over Maki's arm… 

A flash of blue catches Kokichi's attention. Freshly bandaged by a sweetly smiling Kaede, comforting the worst possible person, Tsumugi's bright blue eyes lock onto Kokichi's own. Her lips wobble in fake pain. 

Fuck Tsumugi. 

“Could… could one of you be the ghoul?” Tsumugi sniffles into her hand. 

I hate you, Kokichi wants to say. I wish I had the guts to kill you at the start of each loop, he almost screams into her face. I can't believe I ever think of you as worth pity or friendship, writes itself into his eyes. 

“Don't you think that Monokuma could be lying to us? And that all of you are being punked?” Kokichi tilts his head with a malicious innocent smile. “But I guess that murder girl wouldn't care about that!”

Maki glares at him. He can practically feel their hard earned friendship fragments shatter. 

But Kokichi doesn't need her. 

He doesn't need to constantly remind himself to be nice by assaulting his brain with memories of crying little girls. 

“And cutting yourself with that same knife after so many people??? That's how you get tetanus, people. Wake up!” he says with such good cheer that it almost becomes real. 

“Tenko agrees! She will not let you hurt h-her girlfriend!” comes the shout from Tenko. She's moved much closer to Kokichi than before. 

She's huger than Kokichi is, though most are, and is strong. Kokichi remembers times that Tenko has hugged him and feels just a bit safer. 

Kiibo stares at Kokichi as if Kokichi has hit him with a large anti robot hammer. 

“I… I see.”

“But you don't understand. I wouldn't expect you to either, what with being a murderbot.”

Kiibo flinches back just as a sleepy Miu walks into the room. She quickly wakes up at the sight of pretty much everyone having a wound being tended to. 

“Since when the fuckass shittery were we all joining Angie's fuckin’ cult like a bunch of assnuggets?” the inventor says from somewhere near Shuichi. 

“Since someone here is a ghoul,” Kirumi replies. 

Kokichi hears Miu turn around and walk right back out. 

“Right! If you don't mind, my boytoy and I will be leaving you all to die from infection! Enjoy the dysentery~!”

Kokichi refuses to look at anything but the floor. He rushes forward to Shuichi and clings onto him, pulling him out and away from those perfect blue eyes. 

Tenko lifts up Himiko, from the sound of the smaller girl's sudden ‘naaaaah Tenko wwhhyy’. 

“Tenko shall be taking Himiko-san to her lab. Please do not follow!”

Kokichi makes it maybe one four of the way to somewhere else before he's heaving into… grass.   
When did he get outside? 

Shuichi is trembling next to him and keeps rubbing his back anyway. It'll pass. Kokichi will get back to the room, his room, and he can look at the whiteboard to make plans. Everything will be fine. Kokichi has been in worse situations. 

Shuichi has been in worse situations too. 

“H-hey guys,” Miu's hesitant voice travels down to them from near the school door. 

Heavy footsteps crunch grass and Kiibo kneels down to help Shuichi hold Kokichi's hair. Kokichi imagines that he can hear soft whirls of servos and artificial joints. Kiibo is neither cold nor warm.

"This is why the others suspect that you are a ghoul."

Kokichi laughs. It's empty save the irony. 

“Oh?” he keeps glaring at the grass. 

"You obviously have sympathy for them, despite them also being murderers just by existing,” Kiibo asserts. 

Shuichi's fingers dig down slightly. Always the self blame. Kokichi lurches forward to spit out excess saliva. 

Miu gurgles behind him. 

"Did you ask to exist as a hunk of metal and coding? Do you like people treating you like a tool?"

Kokichi pushes back against them both. He can do this, doesn't even need Shuichi either, if he tries. So he forces his hands against the grass and stands up on his own two feet. Maybe something like this has been what Kokichi has needed. 

Kokichi looks down at Kiibo and remembers that it really is just a hunk of person shaped machinery that thinks its human form means something. 

Bile. 

He spreads his arms and cocks his hips, "You know what?! Yep, it's me! I'm the ghoul here, and I'd never eat anyone here because you're all nasty fuckers! That's why I've been puking my guts up literally everywhere." 

And that's the truth. Kokichi's truth now. Show it on your face then, fingers murmur into his eye sockets. Smile and smile, the world is a big fat joke. 

So are You. 

"Me, my organization, we're all ghouls working to overthrow humanity!" Kokichi exclaims. 

Shuichi's hands clasp onto his pant belts and Kokichi can feel the world churning. 

This is fine. This is fair. 

Kokichi makes his eyes squish into gleeful crescents and doesn't acknowledge the faces around him. Doesn't look back when Shuichi stumbles to his feet, at Kiibo's fake teared up gaze, or at the near despondent Miu in emotional shock. It's so much easier to hurt people when you can look past them; and remember that this is all a game. 

Kokichi loves games. 

"Kokichi!" Shuichi finally pulls Kokichi back by his shirt and arm.

But Kokichi refuses to fall into that siren song of base comfort. He dances out of Shuichi's hold and further into the grass of the courtyard. 

"What, Saihara-chan? You don't have to touch me anymore, you should be happy to not be with something so disgusting." And now he shows his teeth with much aplomb. DICE would be clapping at his performance by now. 

Shuichi flinches, but before he can say anything, Kokichi slips away from everyone's despairing eyes and races to elsewhere. Past grass and stone- passing a horrified eavesdropping Kaito and empty looking Maki that glances at him like he's burned her.

Kaede comes and goes in a flash of white purple pink. 

Kokichi has always been so jealous that she tends to die so quickly. 

 

Shuichi stares at where Kokichi had stood and announced a grand lie to the world. He feels cold. His back itches with each hint of Kokichi's terrified scent. 

The two, now more, people behind him meet his gaze with a sense of helplessness that Shuichi can't let himself have. 

Swallow. Keep moving forward. 

Even if it's Kaito, Maki, and Kaede walking towards you. 

“It.. It's not him,” Shuichi tells them, meeting Kiibo's camera eyes and hoping. “I just need you to know. It's not Kokichi.”

Shuichi meets eyes with Kiibo and Miu. In the end, they're all feeling the same thing.

The detective lingers.

Kiibo looks to where Kokichi has already escaped.

"Ah. I- I see. Then, please find him," the robot murmurs to his feet. "Then I'll apologize."

Miu breaks back into motion and grabs hold of Kiibo, "We're going to my lab and we're making a deghoulifyer!" 

"There's no fucking motive shit if there ain't a ghoul,” she says freely to the three additions. “My best friend of a fucking brat ain't gonna get himself and his beta fuckboy fucked by government dicks if I can fix it!"

Miu falls silent and tries to calm her breathing. 

“Noncon g-gang… not even in comi-” But the tears start falling anyway. 

Kaito eyes Shuichi with something tight and painful in his normally warm eyes. But Shuichi isn't like he used to be. He meets the astronaut’s gaze and tries to do so evenly. Maki holds Kaede's hand at Kaito's side. 

That's good. 

“Saihara… go find Ouma, okay?” Kaito smiles at him, really smiles, and Shuichi feels like warm water has washed over him. Getting rid of ugly fears and dreadful anticipation. 

“Momota-kun, you know that I-”

“Don't care right now! If it were someone else, sure. But we can talk later.” Kaito taps his shoulder and motions to the dorm building. 

Shuichi has things that he wants to say. Later. 

He runs off faster than any human could, and nothing is wrong with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONCE MORE I MUST THANK LIN
> 
> Lin, who stayed up past bedtime to watch this go up after betaing for me yet again. I am blessed.


	4. Synapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi finds a way to be content. Shuichi might have. Medusa does not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was once a spider, who met a snake.

Kokichi slams into the railing in front of his room. He barely feels it. Wait, no, it's not a railing or even near his room. Kokichi squeezes his eyes shut and opens them rapidly, blinking over and over. He’s leaning on a door.

There's a piano. 

Kokichi stands straight and hobbles towards it, opening it up and staring at white black keys. 

He raises his hands as if to bang them down and create a chaos of broken noises. Instead, Kokichi lets his arms fall back to his sides. He did it again, that thing with hissing and spitting out the worst kind of lie, like a snake trying to scare away some bloodthirsty animals. But there are only people here. 

That's even worse though, Kokichi knows. 

People are capable of acting irrationally while telling themselves that everything is logical. 

People lie, like you. 

Kokichi sits down on the bench and lets his fingers gloss over piano keys. 

He'd called Shuichi disgusting. Called himself disgusting, but Shuichi probably couldn't hear it that way. Another burst of piano noises, too sporadic and ugly to be called music. Kokichi should stop and go take it all back. 

Kokichi never takes it back. Not when he pretends to be the mastermind, to hate everyone, Kokichi only backpedals when doing so will hurt him but make him seem stronger. 

This time his hands really do slam down on the keys. Kokichi cringes but continues to make a dizzying mess of sounds. It's familiar though. 

It stops when Kokichi can't think of anything but Kaede dying horribly, again. 

He breathes. 

He can breathe. She is breathing too, wherever she is right now. Everyone is alive and Kokichi can still fix things. He can take the heat off of Shuichi by playing the tragic martyr type that Tsumugi loves so much. 

Maybe this time, she'll let him get whitewashed when he kicks it too. 

Ha. 

Footsteps reach Kokichi's ears, and the combination of heavy-but-gentle footsteps and purposeful clicks make his face feel hot with anger. Tsumugi with Gonta. Because of fucking course she'd use the sudden angry piano playing as an excuse to poke at him. 

Kokichi isn't really friends with this Kaede, but his gut recoils, and his brain swims with memories of teasing her and Shuichi in her lab. Eventually, it got too painful. Eventually- Kokichi stopped ribbing her and trying to prod her into actual leadership. Stopped stealing Shuichi's hat with an easy grin and soft laughter. 

He stays seated on the bench despite the urge to crawl into the piano. Or Kokichi could hide behind a curtain. 

Kokichi gets up and stares down at the curtains, noticing how they reach the floor. He could hide and avoid his problems like a depressed bean that escapes their messy house each day. 

Kokichi hides behind the curtain. 

The footsteps reach the still open door to Kaede's lab. Very carefully, Kokichi slows and silences his breathing. 

“Is Shirogane-san sure that we should be here?” Gonta asks so quietly that Kokichi almost can't hear him. 

What the hell is Tsumugi going to do now? 

The blue haired witch says, “Of course! We're all friends with Akamatsu-san. Also, it sounds like someone is ruining her lab… “

Gonta walks closer to the piano. Kokichi wishes he could pop out and scare him, or really just move in general. Staying flat and still like this, unable to see, reminds him of the locker. 

Tsumugi hums. 

Kokichi would really appreciate it if she'd just fuck off and let Kokichi gather his thoughts. Alas. 

“Uhhh, this might be a bit rude of me… but is someone behind that curtain?”

Kokichi refuses to move. Fuck that, he'll rebel as much as possible. Just keep breathing and get ready to smile at the face of death. Like you always do, he remembers. Keep smiling even when you're sobbing and looking up at-

Gonta walks over to the curtain, slowly and maybe with his hands up all peaceful like. 

“May Gonta please see who was playing? It was very nice music!” And he must mean it because he's Gonta. 

At least a bit. 

Kokichi wonders if this Gonta was raised by lizard people again. Or Dinosaurs. Because Tsumugi is utterly warped and so is anyone else that becomes the mastermind. 

Liars. 

The curtain is slowly lifted away from Kokichi's face. 

Gonta takes one look at him and hugs him without asking. 

“That's not very gentlemanly!” Kokichi shrieks into what is probably Gonta's stomach. God, he is so tall. So fucking tall, what did he eat as a child? 

Gonta's eyes widen but he only seems more determined, “Gonta apologizes. But isn't sorry, because Ouma-kun needs hugs! Amami-kun told Gonta that hugs make things better.”

So they are spending time together. Neato, adventure boy and bug boy. With their powers combined they can mother everyone. Father. Whatever. 

Kokichi struggles to get a glimpse of-

A small and well practiced tune lights up the room, cute and utterly soulless in cookie cutter quality. 

Kokichi slaps Gonta's stupidly huge pecs and slips out of his hold. 

Stop fucking touching Kaede's piano, you fucking murderer, he doesn't snarl. Instead, Kokichi jumps on her with a facsimile of an excited hug. 

“Bestie Smoogi! How are you holding, so nervous that you start smelling people behind curtains?” he says straight into her ears. 

Tsumugi takes five seconds to fully process the implications. 

Then Gonta hugs them both, lifting them up, and preventing her from saying anything beyond a squeak. Long ‘squeeee’ like a scared frog. That too is familiar. Part of Kokichi aches for the AV room so very long ago, where Tsumugi was frightened-different and Kokichi thought he'd found a friend. 

Kokichi thinks he finds friends far too often. 

Instead he imagines the face she made last loop, Tsumugi’s disbelief at how she had no idea that Kokichi couldn't die. Ajin, demi-human. It's a shame that he isn't still like that. It would be so useful right now. Just instantly regenerate after each death, a guarantee that Kokichi’ll make it to the end of the game. 

Kokichi giggles at memories of Tsumugi's incompetence. 

This is all so boring. 

Gonta's arms are tight and warm around them both, lifting them up, keeping them safe in the giant's eyes. There is nothing safe about either of them. 

Tsumugi wheezes as Gonta squeezes them again, “Gonta-kun, I can't breathe air!”

Good, Kokichi thinks. But then Gonta starts apologizing for being stupid and lets them both down. 

“Gonta is really sorry for hurting you,” he says with a self disappointed sigh. 

Tsumugi returns it and starts saying something- but Kokichi butts in at the best moment. The moment before she actually makes noise. 

“Well, I think that Gonta's big hugs are the best! I feel much better now. In fact-” Kokichi balls up his hands and turns on the puppy dog eyes. “Gonta should bear hug us all! Forever.”

Tsumugi looks at Kokichi like he's crazy. That would be fair from anyone else. 

“Ouma-kun… aren’t you scared of being found by the ghoul?” Tsumugi asks him with a worried gaze. The same basic expression that she has maybe twelve slight variations of. Something that no one else ever seems to notice. 

“Oh that, ” Kokichi huffs in irritation. 

Gonta coughs, “Perhaps we should talk about other things?”

Kokichi smiles at him. 

“Naaaah~ I'm good with this topic! I super duper just love talking about death and cannibalism,” he tells them both. Gonta looks at him in shock. 

Tsumugi frowns and plays with the fabric of her skirt. Perfectly listless and vulnerable. 

“Ouma-kun should not say such things!” Gonta asserts, hands clenched near his chest. “Gonta will keep Ouma-kun and Shirogane-san safe!”

Kokichi looks at Tsumugi, who notices and directs her frown fully at him. 

Kokichi urges her on with his eyes. 

She caves. 

“But what if the ghoul is Ouma-kun or Saihara-kun? They were, to put it plainly, the first to really refuse after all.” 

The mastermind points out the truth. 

Kokichi grins, “You aren't wrong about that last part!”

Tsumugi's gaze lingers for a moment, before she makes a worried gasp into her hands and whimpers. If only this was just role-playing or acting and they weren't-

“Gonta believes in Ouma-kun, he is not a ghoul!” Gonta says. 

Kokichi hates Tsumugi, like a thousand white hot suns, because he's met Tsumugis that are so much better. Ones that are like him. Ones that are at least conflicted or actually give the slightest of shits. 

This Tsumugi seems to be a sociopath through and through. 

Even a mastermind Shuichi is going to consistently be a better person that her, in some respects. 

Kokichi wonders if Shuichi is looking for him. He leans back onto the piano and laughs at Tsumugi, and Gonta too. 

Kokichi's throat closes up and he starts to absently press piano keys, leaning over and making a simple tune. Just three notes repeating over and over. Sounds much better than anything that Tsumugi could play. She’s far far better at playing with people.

Placing little technicolor strings around their necks and sewing falsehoods into their brains.

“But what if I am a ghoul, Gonta?” Kokichi murmurs into the air. Half-lidded eyes flow over the two and rest on Gonta’s now tensing shoulders. “What if it’s Smoogers over there, or you, or anyone else? Not all ghouls are super strong you know. It could be possible that Harumaki’s knife cut the ghoul because they’re super weak.”

Tsumugi’s lips smash together in the most subtle way possible. Gonta is too busy to see her little glare.

If she didn’t suspect Kokichi of knowing before then she sure as hell does now.

“I don’t think that that’s possible,” the mastermind tells him. Again, her eyes gain that luminescent quality.

Kokichi flashes his teeth at her, “Oh? I guess that you’re wondering why I suddenly started to contradict my earlier words, huh?”

Her left cheek twitches.

“I guess that I just do that all the time! I guess that maybe Ouma Kokichi just keeps slithering around like a blind snake, making sure to be as least boring as possible,” Kokichi laughs at her, at her tiny built up tells, at the way he’s slowly turning this conversation into something pressing on her nerves.

Gonta looks so lost between them. The cogs in his brain are turning, because Gonta is smarter than he thinks of himself, but the insect enthusiast remains at a loss. 

He must be one of the people who think that Kokichi and Tsumugi are friends.

“Is Ouma-kun trying to imply something?” the mastermind asks with faux confusion. She holds onto her skirt as if she’s even capable of true worry. “Because I... I have been trying to help you!”

Kokichi stills, index finger over the second piano key in his trio. 

Tsumugi continues to yell at him, blotchy and red, “I have been doing nothing but try to reach out to you and trying to stop you from breaking down for weeks now! I’ve stayed away when you kept yourself up at night because it seemed like you needed to- but you haven’t gotten better at all!”

Kokichi watches Tsumugi pant with a detached sort of horror. But she must be lying. She’s lying.

“I just wanted to be your friend,” she whimpers, bent at the waist and letting her glasses slip down.

They clatter onto the floor, and slowly, grow wet.

“I don’t understand why you’re scared of me, Ouma-kun! But you can’t just attach yourself to one person after a month of plainly avoiding everyone else, that isn’t healthy!”

Kokichi slides off of the piano and goes back into the hallway. He ignores Gonta’s words, Tsumugi’s sobbing, and turns a corner into a sad Shuichi’s vision. Kokichi keeps walking to him and headbutts his chest.

He murmurs into Shuichi, “Did you hear?”

Shuichi embraces him instead of saying anything.

It’s enough. It should be enough, but it’s never enough. Kokichi wants to become closer and dig into Shuichi’s skin to bury himself there. He nuzzles into Shuichi’s chest and wraps his arms around the half-ghoul. Maybe next time they can go share a bucket of popcorn while watching a movie, something funny with feelings, and then Kokichi can tease him about running out of soda halfway through.

Kokichi lets Shuichi pull him off to the actual dorm room, ignoring the combined stares of the conversing Kirumi and Ryouma.

Kirumi makes an attempt to halt them with a stern gaze. 

It’s a look that reminds him of when she poisoned everyone and then herself so that he could escape. He tried so hard to be the best leader and make sure that everyone lived.

Ryouma reads the air and stops her with a soft ‘hey’, mostly dead eyes clearly recognizing something lingering in their shoulders. 

Shuichi and Kokichi finish their short trip and one of them pulls the other into his room. Kokichi immediately figures out that it’s his. Probably because it’s a messy shithole covered in all sorts of boxes and papers. Liberal sprinkles of other crap. The test tubes that he gathered up on instinct say hello.

Kokichi pats a hesitant Shuichi on the back.

“Welcome to casa de Kokichi!” he says before jumping onto his bed.

“It’s the finest room in the land, and Shuichi-chan has gained exclusive viewing rights,” he continues happily. “No one else has ever witnessed this room except over my dead body!” 

“Kokichi-kun, please!” Shuichi whisper-shouts, already getting busy over Kokichi’s copious notes and record keeping. Kokichi turns onto his side and watching Shuichi thumb over a folder all about Kaede, then Korekiyo, and the last K. Which is obviously Kaito.

He watches his boyfriend pour over files with a matching gusto.

The clock ticks down by a good thirty minutes before Shuichi takes a break to stare at the whiteboard.

“So Kokichi-kun has really been spying on everyone…” Shuichi mutters and looks back at the boy in question. The detective’s eyes are soft and misty with his lips being tugged upwards.

Kokichi shows him a tired little smile that might be real, “You look really fond when you say that.”

Shuichi laughs, and disengages from the board full of ideas on how to save him. He sweeps Kokichi up and breathes in deeply, a shuddering inhale, closing his eyes as he rests his chin on top of Kokichi’s head.

Kokichi leans back and takes Shuichi down with him. He goes limp and flat against the bed. For a moment, all Shuichi does is look down at him with wide and mystified eyes. Kokichi smiles and taps at his mouth.

“Kiss me just a little, Shumai?”

Shuichi’s eyes dilate ever so slightly.

When they’re done and ready to leave their room, it’s the afternoon again. Kokichi is sore and satisfied. 

Then he looks over at Shuichi and gets absolutely pissed off. Shuichi just raises an eyebrow at him and continues to button up his shirt. No matter where Kokichi looks, he can’t spot any kind of mark on Shuichi’s skin.

"Holy shit, where did the hickies and bites go?!" Kokichi growls into his scarf, lips screwed up into a grimace at the sight of Shuichi’s spotless neck. It makes his own twinge in envy.

Shuichi leans towards Kokichi’s hand mirror and peers into it. 

The half-ghoul sighs, "Healed up already, I guess."

Kokichi groans until his throat forces him to stop. Which is, well, not as long as it usually is for some rather fun reasons.

He tosses himself off of the bed and helps Shuichi get ready. They’re going to go grab something to eat together. Kokichi hasn’t given up on his plans either. He doesn’t care about what the hell is up with Tsumugi right now, not at all, he just has to make sure that everyone thinks of Shuichi as a human. 

Kokichi totally isn’t clinging onto something no longer workable, he reminds himself past the simmering ball in his chest.

There is no one in the halls.

They enter the empty cafeteria and Kokichi starts pulling Shuichi towards the kitchen. 

He lets his boyfriend go and rushes to inspect the stove and cabinets, grabbing simple spices and fresh stuff from the normal fridge. Kokichi pours some cooking oil into a large pan and turns back to his boyfriend. Two bowls wait for him on the adjacent countertop.

Pepper, salt, garlic and a small onion.

“Hey, Shuichi? Could you grab some of those big mushrooms and about four bell peppers? Any color,” Kokichi asks as he pulls out a large knife and cutting board. Hands still damp from washing.

The smell of olive oil mixes with old cleaning chemicals into something horrible and great.

Kokichi gathers up his spices and shakes them into the spare bowl. He grabs the balsamic vinegar from the cabinet and pours it in. Then he cuts up the garlic-onion combo and tosses those in too. Actually, this should have some soy sauce. Can’t go wrong with adding that to everything.

He separates the mixture into the second bowl after stirring it up with a large wooden cooking spoon.

Moving on, he starts to cut up the already washed and dried vegetables. And fungi. 

Shuichi is so absurdly helpful.

“Beloved, get yourself some meat from the fridge.” 

Kokichi’s stomach flutters when Shuichi’s breath hitches behind him. He tells himself not to look back. He does.

Shuichi looks at Kokichi like Kokichi just gave him the nicest smack possible. Whether to his face or his ass, Kokichi isn’t sure. He does know that Shuichi quickly composes himself and walks over to the ‘special’ fridge.

Kokichi cuts up his mushrooms into long slices and puts them in one of the sauce bowls. The bell peppers are next, the top pushed in and pulled out along with the seeds. They stick to his fingers and get wiped off unceremoniously. He chops them and chops them, waiting to hear the refrigerator's electronic lock open, and feels his neck itch until it does.

The perfectly sliced peppers go into both bowls evenly.

A loud second beep travels to Kokichi’s ears and down his spine. He can do this, they can both do this and it will be fine. Just a homemade dinner date to fondly remember for the rest of ever.

Shuichi’s shaking hands, and his unsure body next to Kokichi’s own, gently set down a clear plastic bag of thin cut meat. Its contents are utterly unidentifiable. The tremble in Shuichi’s breath is oh so human.

Shuichi gulps, “Are you really sure that you want to do this?”

Kokichi opens the bag and and removes the well marbled meat, smoothing his thumb over it. He has no idea what his face might look like. Wonders what the cut is and who it used to be.

He glances over at the nervous detective next to him. Kokichi has probably done worse things than this.

“Everyone has to eat. We die if we don’t,” and this isn’t your fault, Kokichi tries to say with his eyes.

It's all the mastermind’s fault- all Kokichi’s fault for never being able to stop scrambling up how life works.

He puts the meat on the cutting board.

Kokichi smiles at Shuichi. Gold eyes always watching, surprisingly stubborn at times, that soft voice always drawing Kokichi in deeper. It’ll all reset sooner than Kokichi ever wants. What’s the point of shying away from something that has already been accepted?

Purple eyes blink back to Shuichi’s yet to be cooked dinner and pale fingers grasp the knife.

If it had been the Kokichi from the last loop then they wouldn’t even need anything from Monokuma-

Shuichi’s hand takes hold of Kokichi’s forearm. He must say something too, but Kokichi’s head blanks out into static and ironic laughter.

“Oh! How totes clumsy of me, where did my brain go?” Kokichi wonders.

Kokichi pulls his fingers back into proper, a safe fist, position and he lets the knife drop onto the board. The meat goes uncut into its own bowl. He mixes it with one hand and tries to not imagine the disturbed look on Shuichi’s face.

“Kokichi… I’ll finish cooking, okay?” Shuichi says it and Kokichi immediately hates it. 

“No.” 

His boyfriend, his lover, exhales but doesn’t let go.

Kokichi swallows around the lump in his throat and really-actually looks at Shuichi, “But you can help me. I want to let Shuichi help me from now on.”

It’s hard, but Kokichi means it from deep in his bone marrow to the warm skin where Shuichi holds him. He isn’t angry or sad from the meat itself, not after everything that will keep happening forever, but because Kokichi feels cheated. The reason why is something that he knows is gross-bad-wrong. Shuichi would probably be upset if Kokichi even tried to explain.

Shuichi grabs a second pan and they cook their dinners together. The heat is as annoying as ever, but Kokichi really likes making his own meals with people. He’d never ask Kirumi to let him cook, sure.

But it’s safer feeling to eat his own food and Kokichi knows Kirumi too well. 

Kokichi gets antsy and flips his mushroom-peppers again. It’s pretty impossible to over cook this kind of stuff and he doesn’t mind waiting for Shuichi’s food to finish. Damn. It really does smell like pork.

He can’t recall being burned alive himself but the nose is the most related to mem-

God, don’t think about that right now.

The timer on the stove dings and Kokichi jerks back in surprise. Had Shuichi set the timer? Shuichi, meanwhile, is hiding a laugh under a very fake cough. Kokichi protests by leaving him and grabbing plates instead of helping him with the actual food and stove stuff. Actually, Shumai can handle the clean up too!

Kokichi slaved over a hot stove all by himself after all. Oh, was that Shuichi whining?

“Kokichi-kun, I can hear you talking!” Shuichi shouts at him.

But it seems that Kokichi has already gone back to the cafeteria. Poor Shuichi will just have to roll with it.

Kokichi muffles tiny little hyena laughs with his sleeves. His legs kick and swing themselves, a bit unwise since he’s also seated on a hard seat, but Kokichi is more pleased with that than anything else. The stinging and throbbing covering his throat-neck-shoulders makes the knot in his chest feel less horrific.

He glances down his scarf and collar.

Yup, cat that got the cream and the canary. Maybe if everything goes well, Kokichi can boast to Miu about how his boyfriend has tentacles.

The kitchen doors swish open and Shuichi shimmies his way out with two plates, plus two glasses. 

Kokichi smiles and holds his arms out for his veggies and boyfriend. Shuichi smiles back, but puts their dinner down all properly. Aaaah- that’s so cute and normal. A giggle escapes Kokichi’s lips.

“Wow, this smells amazing! Thanks for cooking it all just for meeee,” Kokichi says.

He smushes his cheeks together with his palms and loves the way that Shuichi’s eyelashes flutter in response.

Shuichi looks down at his dinner and starts cutting into it, “You should eat instead of making yourself look like a squirrel, Kokichi-kun.”

“D-did you just say that I’m a cute and small forest rodent?!”

Kokichi idly starts to bite into a mushroom slice, watching his boyfriend pause with a small piece of onion and not-steak raised to his mouth. Shuichi gathers himself up and decides to chew food instead of answering.

Wide eyes continue to stare.

Shuichi swallows and tries to eat instead of answering.

Kokichi fake sobs.

“I can’t believe this. My beloved dumpling boy thinks that I am a rodent,” he mutters.

The detective twitches, “N-no, your cheeks were just puffed up! Like a s-”

“I’m a food stealing mouse now!” Kokichi cries and switches their waters. Wait no, he reaches back for his own and takes that too.

Shuichi’s eyes glaze over in shock and amusement. He blinks and tries to take his water back, but Kokichi shies away, holding them close to his chest while he uses a free hand to eat. 

“May I please have the water back?” is Shuichi’s next attempt.

Kokichi sighs and pouts at him. For a moment, he considers asking to have some of Shuichi’s dinner too. But that thought is pretty fucked and dumb even for the usual invasive shits that Kokichi deals with. 

Schooling his face into a neutral look, Kokichi returns a glass to Shuichi’s side with a mumble of ‘since you asked so nicely’.

It’s the truth after all.

The two boys go back to eating, Kokichi lying about his grand history in cooking competitions, the food on their plates slowly vanishing along with their water. Kokichi throws a stray mushroom stem onto Shuichi’s plate and smiles when it gets eaten. Although it seems like Shuichi isn’t too fond of mushrooms. 

Kokichi honestly, really really, loves how easily the mushrooms give under his teeth. He would probably eat a million of them if possible.

Murmuring voices reach them.

Two pairs of eyes flicker to the entrance. Their food is basically gone now, and Shuichi gobbles down the last of his meat just to be safe.

Who comes in on them is Kaede with a look that Kokichi can only call ‘utter despair’. Her pink-purple eyes are downcast and her shoulders betray her as on edge. Behind her is Ryouma, who looks even more chin deep depressed than usual.

They’re very much bearers of bad news. 

The lump in Kokichi’s heart returns to his throat. Why do people keep showing up and ruining things? Why does everything that Kokichi gets to be happy about end up getting fucked?

“Hey you two! Been investigating for clues like good little students?” he chirps with closed eyes.

Smiling, of course.

Kaede glances at a silently staring Shuichi, before sighing and turning back to Kokichi. She plays with the left strap of her backpack. 

“It’s Shirogane-san. She’s-” Kaede sucks in a breath just a bit too fast. “She’s in the hanger with the exisals, and she’s just gone totally crazy!”

Kokichi’s face goes limp.

“What exactly do you mean by that, Akamatsu-san?” Shuichi says off to the side. 

Kokichi watches Ryouma tug at his beanie while Kaede grips her straps with both hands now. She and Shuichi start talking, but all Kokichi can hear is ‘your fault’ over and over. He must have forced Tsumugi’s hands somehow. Did he bore her?

But Kokichi is always sure to never be boring…

“And then Smoogi said that she wants everyone to come to her. Right?” he says into the void of air around them.

Kaede eyes him wearily.

“Yeah,” mutters the usually energetic girl.

Kokichi stands up, and absently notices that Shuichi is doing the same. But nothing can make Kokichi feel anything other than cold right now. 

The two of them follow Kaede and Ryouma away form their mostly finished dinner.

“So what exactly is Smoogi doing right now?” Kokichi asks them. He just hadn’t been listening earlier. Understandable, maybe.

Ryouma huffs, “Shirogane is calling herself the mastermind of this game, came into a class meeting at Toujou’s lab holding something called a ‘flashback light’ and ranting.”

“Yeah! She just burst in with Monokuma and the Exisals behind her. Told us that she had a perfect solution, that she was the one who set everything up…” Kaede’s shoulders tremble slightly. She must be feeling so very betrayed right now. Kokichi can perfectly imagine what it’s like to really see Tsumugi for the first time. 

He’s done it a hundred times himself.

Shuichi puts a gentle hand onto Kokichi’s too stiff shoulders, but Kokichi has no wish to see the look on his face, so he just places his own hand on top of it. 

Kaede rubs her eyes with her sleeve, “I just don’t know why Shirogane-san would do all this to us. Even after I told her how my sister was killed by a ghoul, she just smiled and comforted me!”

“You can’t expect that people will end up being like that,” Ryouma tells the blonde.

Kokichi grabs Shuichi’s sweaty hand with his own.

“I didn’t know that your sister was a ghoul victim,” he says at her backpack. “It’s pretty weird how almost everyone seems to be connected to ghouls somehow.” 

Ryouma looks back at them, “And you lied about being one.”

Kokichi wishes that his stomach was upset enough to projectile vomit all over the other boy’s head. Shuichi’s hand intertwines with his and twitches when Kaede almosts turns to rest her gaze on them as well. Kaito and Maki wouldn’t tell on Shuichi. Kiibo and Miu wouldn’t tell on Shuichi. But they’d all certainly talk about what Kokichi had told them, and how it isn’t true.

Right? 

“You don’t know if it’s really a lie or not,” he says.

Would the others have gotten one of the four to tattle? Did Shuichi make a mistake in thinking that those four had figured it out, should he have just not told Kokichi about what happened after Kokichi ran away?

Ryouma eyes him, candy crunched tight in his teeth, and turns away.

They’re at the hanger, Kokichi is, now and again. The entrance is as boring as it always is, holding far more interesting contents. 

Before them stands the rest of the class, Gonta taking charge in front of the group like always, but Kokichi only has eyes for the mastermind. He’s glad that he made Tsumugi cry, if only fakely. Kokichi hates liars.

Tsumugi stands in front of the Exisals with Monokuma clenched tightly to her chest.

Hates Tsumugi far more than he could ever hate himself.

“Oh! Kokichi, you actually showed up for me,” Tsumugi’s deeper than normal voice rings out to him. “And you even brought your boyfriend too! I’m plainly surprised.”

Kokichi laughs, “So you wanted me to come here especially?”

He walks past Angie and Tenko, the scared Himiko huddling behind them. Shuichi follows after him as Kaede and Ryouma take their places in the crowd. Blue bright eyes pin him like a specimen underneath a layer of glass.

“I’ll be honest this once, just for you, Smoogers! I didn’t really listen to a single word coming out of Akamatsu-chan’s mouth when she came to get us,” he shouts up at her. 

Tsumugi laughs.

It’s cruel, a bit different from her usual, but the maniacal quality to it hasn’t changed at all. 

“Well- well, I didn’t exactly tell them everything either! You see,” Tsumugi pants and giggles at him. She digs her fingers into Monokuma’s fur. “I need to start the killing game now that I remember everything!”

Shouts of dismay fill the hanger and Tenko pushes Angie behind her as well.

Everyone has worked hard to become friends…

Tsumugi smiles at the despair of her puppets, “So that’s why I needed Ouma-kun to come here right away, so that I finally fix him! Fix you!”

Kokichi grows still and the fake grin on his face shatters. He backs away and into Shuichi’s space. The lump in his throat, the pit in his chest, they spill over and flow out of him like words. They become words, rampant and clawing around in his dry mouth.

“I am not broken.”

Kaito stomps up and stops just a centimeter in front of Shuichi and Kokichi, Maki taking the other side. Kokichi sees an absolutely enraged look twisting the astronaut's face. Shaking.

“If you fucking start that shit again then I’m going to punch you no matter how many death machines you have!” he growls out, guttural and pissed to the high heavens.

Maki joins in with an affirmative, and Kokichi takes in the briefcase in her right hand. 

“I have an energy gun and a shield. I’ll use them,” Maki says. 

Her voice is low and steady, carrying across the room only to be eaten whole by Tsumugi’s own laughter.

“A fake like you, only a character like you would bring out one of those lot! Not that it’s your fault…” Tsumugi uses Monokuma’s white paw to cover her mouth. 

“Upupupu~! I did only give you two really flashy Kagune. Quinque now though.” 

And her blue blue eyes tear into Kokichi’s rawest nerves, his most repressed worries that he’d projected onto the equally applicable Shuichi by his side.

“I guess a Garden Baby knows all about that, to put it plainly!”

Maki slowly turns to Kokichi and Shuichi, the look on her face that familiar subdued-emotionally-deprived horror that Kokichi remembers working so hard to help her out of.

Shuichi clenches Kokichi’s hand tighter.

Kokichi doesn’t want to know who the corpse weapon used to be. It’s too painful.

Instead, “It’s not like I’ve ever really cared about them. They aren’t even real, are they?”

His eyes drink up the sight of Tsumugi’s parted lips and Kokichi pounces.

“Team Dangan Ronpa wrote us allll up nice and exaggerated, after all!” Kokichi barks it all like a curse. He yanks his hand out of Shuichi’s and walks closer. “An Ultimate Leader who does nothing but lie about loving awful things. Even though he’s only ever led around ten unwanted or poor kids who just want to escape from how horrible their lives are. The first rule, no killing! Supposed to be oh so great at being charismatic and then he goes fucking himself over- because isn’t that just so despairful?”

Tsumugi’s eyes stretch open and her pupils gaze a bit past him.

“And oh, Gonta! Raised by fucking dinosaur people! How can I forget that my beloved Shumai is literally Detective Conan but with depression and abandonment issues!” Kokichi wheezes and chuckles, feeling the chattering and apologies throbbing in his skull. At some point he started waving and now he’s just watching his left hand’s fingers twitch.

Her shoulders slump downwards and the Monokuma in her arms mimics her limp noodle posture.

Tsumugi rocks back on her heels.

“You really are broken. I have no idea what Ouma-kun is talking about,” she lies to him.

Kokichi keeps laughing and wishes she’d just do something important already. How boring. Absolutely boring.

How much longer will he have to live through this?

Tsumugi lets the Monokuma fall to it’s tiny little feet. She turns back and grabs something behind her, a freshly made flashback light in her grasp once she returns. Her gaze is sullen and disappointed. Kokichi returns it with a glare.

“You see, Kokichi, you’re glitched right now. But this will fix everything for everyone. I’ll just have to get a new Saihara Shuichi or a new character entirely, and all the mistakes will go away. You’ll all go back to being perfect!” Tsumugi tells him. Blue eyes under blue hair over blue. 

His teeth grind together.

“Koki-” Shuichi mutters behind him.

But Kokichi hasn’t actually been scared of this for a while. He’s known that it’s been coming. He always knows, these days.

Numb legs walk him forward.

“I’m not going to let you kill Shuichi.” 

“Fictional characters should shut up and obey the writer.”

Purple meets blue.

Kokichi bends down to grab a lock pick from the belts keeping his pants from drooping, an easy solution for too much fabric. It’s a fairly simple thing. Just metal. 

Long and sturdy enough to get shoved into Tsumugi’s eye socket. This is fine, Kokichi thinks, this is fine and you’ll be fine too. It’s not like- Tsumugi crying at the end of Fireflies. Tsumugi who wasn’t the mastermind and won’t be the mastermind and Tsumugi’s glasses on the floor of Kaede’s lab. 

There’s a long and horrible moment of Kokichi and white static wrapping around one another.

Maki’s quinque hisses open, and Monotaro’s Exisal creaks to bang down on whatever the hell pops out.

Kokichi has maybe ten seconds to roll out of the way. He manages, heart pounding, blinking and missing the way that everyone scatters as shit goes to hell.

Tenko and Gonta at the doorway. People funneling out and Kaede looking back at him, Miu clinging onto her.

Good.

He’s on his stomach, staring up and pushing his arms. They feel like lead and still manage to bring Kokichi to his feet.

Kokichi’s mouth opens, “You know I haven’t really thought of myself as the Ultimate Supreme Leader since I woke up here! You must have fucked up suuuuper badly, Smoogi!”

The girl twitches amidst a whirlwind of Maki and Shuichi. The Exisals can barely keep up with the two of them as the main opponents, the huge metal monsters having had their guns disabled by blasts of yellow. The riot shield connected to it, Maki using it to stabilize herself, is familiar from Kokichi’s current history.

He feels sick.

The static starts mocking him when Kokichi insists on moving forward.

Relatively small knife-spikes emerge from the sides of Shuichi’s six kagune, shredding through the legs of Monophanie’s robot.

Behind them, Kiibo returns to the hanger and Kokichi rushes him, not even looking at the oh so sharp thing sticking out of his right arm. It’s no one that Kokichi knows.

“Don’t you fuc-” Kokichi tries to say.

“I am not going to just, just help the mastermind!” Kiibo shouts past the weird half mask thing he’s rolling with. It makes him look weird. Weird bot, weird fucking murder robot boy. The static laughs away.

Kokichi takes three deep breaths and forces his stiff hands to let go of Kiibo.

“I’m not sorry,” he lies.

Kiibo watches him, and then leaves Kokichi to stare at the injured Kaito looking at the fight from just past the doorway. Kaede busies herself with helping Kirumi bandage his upper right arm. Everything repeats.

Metal screeches as another Exisal goes down, but this time the battle is punctured by Shuichi’s own scream.

Not again-

Kokichi is running back, away from where things would be so much safer, before he can even consciously process it. Shuichi is hunched over and holding his leg, three huge gouges revealing even his bone. That’s the funny thing about living bone. It’s not actually white.

It’s more pink tinged looking. The bleached look comes after a while of being cleaned and dead. Off-white and a deep red on the inside.

It’s a good thing that Shuichi is a ghoul or he’d be fucked right now, because Kokichi can lean down and see all of that. He’s healing. Muscle and flesh knitting back together- hiding the sight of bone from Kokichi’s eyes. He kneels down and pulls Shuichi’s head to his chest, ears ringing.

“Shuichi… I’m so sorry.” Kokichi murmurs, feeling Shuichi cringe and try to get up to keep fighting.

Tsumugi is still laughing.

Maki shuts her up with a quinque steel knife to the foot. Kokichi watches the black haired girl drag the mastermind out of her hiding place behind an Exisal, burnt and sparking Monokuma under Kiibo’s feet.

They’re going to kill her. They have to be about to kill her. Kokichi knows what it’s like, but.

Shuichi.

Kokichi is forced to help his grimacing boyfriend stand up. The pant leg itself is ruined, letting Kokichi see the way that Shuichi’s skin has already returned to normal despite how recent. and deep, the wound there was. He watches Shuichi walk forward on his own with his full stomach feeling like an abscess. Vision swims in and out of white.

(Are you really content with this? Are You?)

Kokichi doesn’t feel like talking to himself, so his ears and lips get sewn up and thrown away.

Shuichi stops walking, “Did you really think that you could just play with us like that, Shirogane?”

Tsumugi looks up at him dazed. She leans her head to the side and stares at Kokichi’s red dyed bandage. No answers.

“We should just kill her,” Maki mutters with blank eyes.

But that’s a mistake. Kokichi knows, that right now, killing Tsumugi is a failure condition. Killing her is a trap that only exists to cause them to suffer more. He wants to stay quiet and let it happen anyway, but Shuichi. Shuichi would be the one to do it.

Shuichi would be the one to end up ‘giving into his nature’ and get locked up or ripped apart.

Kokichi only has that.

Kokichi can only cling onto ‘saving Shuichi’. 

One kagune, and oh that must be what those seams were for, covered in thin knife tips. He’s always been so very fast on his feet, running down alleys from shouting adults-

But it burns when Shuichi stabs into Kokichi’s side.

Then the frozen thing, Shuichi who held him so tenderly, rips out and vanishes as Shuichi makes the most gut wrenching wail that Kokichi has ever heard. One of them again. It’s fine. This is just fine because

Kokichi falls onto the floor and dips his nails into the deep gash on his side. If he wanted then he could probably feel around the organs that Shuichi has ruptured. It burns up towards his spine and barely hurts.

(Don’t worry. You’ll follow through to the next like all the other ones. I’m not so cruel.)

Tsumugi falls silent behind him, crawling and looking down into his eyes until Maki kicks her wet eyes away.

(But this was worth it. It’s always worth it for Him.)

Red-black and Gold enters Kokichi’s narrowing field of vision next. Blonde hair and goggles press a pink school uniform into his wound, pale hands grabbing his wrists and pulling them away.

I can fix it, a crude girl says. 

“I don’t think it works like that, Miumum. Thanks t-though,” Kokichi cringes at his returning stutter. He can’t feel his abdomen. “Pre-pretty sure my… my organs got fucked.”

(Shuichi is crying.)

And he is, wetness dripping down to Kokichi’s cheeks.

Pale lips smile up at the face of loss.

“Don’t w-worry!” Kokichi tells him. Just tell Shuichi that everything will be fine, because- “I’ll always love Sh-shuichi, next time too.”

Shuichi’s eyes clamp closed and he gives into the urge to sob and shudder. It makes Kokichi feel warm, and that’s pretty horrible of him. He reaches up and hopes that his shaky fingers are actually managing to wipe away some of those tears.

When Shuichi’s eyes open again, they’re both human.

“Why?” Shuichi pulls Kokichi closer to him. Closer like… a day ago? A few days ago? Like he did in the kitchen because they’re both big stupid disasters. Their breathing wavers.

Kokichi gives up on keeping his eyes open in the face of Shuichi’s warmth.

“Because if Shuichi kills someone then I’ll have lost,” but he doesn’t expect Shuichi to understand that.

Shuichi continues to cling and cry.

“I hate those the most. The ones where Shuichi hurts someone are the worst timelines…”

The trembling stops. Kokichi blinks.

Shuichi pulls back and looks down at him with flooded eyes and a slack mouth. He pulls back further as his arms further tighten around Kokichi like a vice.

“What- What are you-”

Kokichi smiles, “You don’t have to be sad, like I said, I’ll keep saying that I love you.”

Shuichi shakes his head, chest starting to heave with rapid breathing, “No, b-before that. Kokichi what did you say? K-kokichi?” Static.

(Haven’t You realized? I’m right here too.)

Just let me go in peace.

The stark horror in Shuichi’s eyes reaches down to Kokichi’s neck and spreads a chill there. Kokichi doesn’t understand, because a look like that is more akin to when Shuichi finds out about Dangan Ronpa than when Kokichi dies. Like an unwanted epiphany.

Maybe if Kokichi had enough blood still in his body he’d be able to

Shuchi…?

“Not you too,” Shuichi murmurs, head and body dropping back to Kokichi like rocks. “Kokichi shouldn’t have to-”

Ah.

(Next time We’ll do better, I promise.)

 

They lock her up inside of her bed room, Harukawa and Kaede watching her.

Tsumugi smiles at them and watches Harukawa’s body barely betray her breathing. Kaede keeps making small talk, as if she, as if Tsumugi actually loves anyone here. Everyone else is just a badly written character. Which is fine, because things can still be fixed. They can still go to tune.

She just has to try harder.

The door opens and Saihara walks in with her food. 

Harukawa gives him a glance and accepts that her shift has ended, leaving and letting the Ultimate Detective stay behind. 

It’s so sad how his little love crossed romance ended up, Tsumugi thinks. Like Romeo and Juliet plus even more self loathing. Before she’d been given the flashback light, Tsumugi had ended up being disturbed at how quickly Ouma-kun had planted himself by Saihara. But they’re just fictional. Real people work differently.

Saihara looks at her with tired eyes and smiles. 

He sets her food down onto the bed. 

“I know that it isn't your fault. You just ended up being this way," He says as he looks away from her. "So." 

The back of his shirt rips at the force it takes for three kagune to slam against the door. Maki won't be getting in. 

The other three-

"No-no!" Tsumugi screams, body full of desperation. A fourth appendage pins her down. 

Kaede dangles helpless and choking before her. 

"What are you doing? This is out of character- you just had Ouma-kun sacrifice himself to prevent you from killing!" She blabbers on. “Why are you attacking Akamatsu anyway, I'm the-”

“The fake mastermind.”

No. No no no! 

Tsumugi struggles against the burning weight holding her down. 

She spies Kaede trying to grab the quinque in her backpack, but the kagune strangling her tightens. The sixth springs out its spikes and stabs through her wrist. It's sounds wet. 

Tsumugi can't bear to look at her face. 

“I might not have done this, if I hadn't realized what Kokichi had talked about back then.” Saihara says. But he isn't talking to Tsumugi.

He knows how fake she is. 

How plain she is. 

Something falls to the floor with a painful thump. 

“Masterminds don't cry like you did, Shirogane. Shouldn't you know that?”

Don't listen and he'll go away. 

“But I can't really stay here either. He's with me, but I need to go find Him now. Maybe we'll get to stop now that I know.”

Tsumugi opens her eyes and watches Saihara’s fingers trace his nostalgic smile. She doesn't understand. She doesn't understand what Kokichi was talking about, what Saihara is still talking about, she just wanted to do a good job for Kaede. They'd promised. Kaede had given Tsumugi all these memories, back because they had to have been hers it's the only thing that makes sense, and then Tsumugi had promised. 

“I hate you,” she hisses despite herself. “You ruined him and now you've ruined everything else.”

Why did she mention k-

Mismatched eyes blink at her from a tilting head, “But I've given in and accepted that I'm a monster for you.”

He rubs his stomach. 

A good character arc of regressive development. A tragedy. The mastermind should want to-

“Give them back,” Tsumugi whispers. 

Saihara smiles. 

It races to her, burns and and

Ends.

**Author's Note:**

> All the same warnings as the first part of this series will apply, and more will be joining as more chapters get written. If you are unfamiliar with what that means, please check out the first part of this series. There will be things like death and cannibalism addressed in this fic and series as a whole. Kokichi will be disassociating and dipping in and out of past loops for a long time. Even without that, he's in an unhealthy mental state. Since this is in part a vent fic, Kokichi will be experiencing stress puking as well. If this disturbs you to the point of no enjoyment then please keep yourself safe by not reading.
> 
> As always, huge thanks and gratefulness to the amazing Lin who helped me remember that Tsumugi has a last name.
> 
> Happy mother's day {tsumugi}!


End file.
